Page 107 of Dex

He says nothing, but the flicker in his eyes is answer enough.A hot tear slips down my cheek.

“You don’t get to decide how I feel, or what I risk,” I whisper.“I knew being with you could hurt.I knew you were wounded, and you think you’re to blame for what happened to your mom.That you can’t love—” His eyes pierce through me and he frowns.

“Don’t talk about love.I got you off in the water.That’s all that happened here.”

His words hit so hard, they feel like a slap.But I don’t back down.“I had an idea you’d be complicated.That you’d fight this at every turn.And I still …” My voice catches.“I still jumped in, eyes wide open.”

“You shouldn’t have,” he whispers, agony in every syllable.“You should walk away.Right now.Before I hurt you any more.”

My heart cracks at the sadness in his voice.“I can’t do that.We’re in this for a reason.For a financial reason.This is part of a deal.”But I need to know more about the source of his pain, his belief, how he sees himself.“Why do you think you’ll hurt me?Why can’t you just let someone care about you?Why can’t you care about them back?”

His head jerks up, eyes blazing with torment.“You want the truth?”he rasps.“You really want to know why I can’t do this?”

“Yes,” I say, overcome with a desperate need to help him.“I deserve that much.”His throat works, and for a long moment I think he’ll refuse.But then something in him crumples.

“Because I sent my mother to her death,” he bites out.His words hang in the night air like a hangman’s noose.

“Dexter … that’s not true,” I say, my words tumbling out in a harsh whisper.

“Don’t tell me what’s true and what isn’t.You never knew her.”

Chapter 26

DEX

This seems like a marker in our journey, and I want to cherish this moment, because it feels like everything has changed.

But it’s precisely for that reason that I need to back away.Daniela is sweet, and warm and trusting.She fits against me like she was made to be mine.

Like she belongs to me.

Like she’s part of me.

Like I’ve known her for years.

But I will hurt her.I’m a mess, and she’s not.I’ll ruin her, and I can’t do that to her.But now we’re sitting apart like angry lovers.Getting her off, fucking sublime.But she had to go and ruin it by telling me she was falling for me.

Those words fucking words set off every alarm in my head.Five-alarm fire.

Get out.Get out now.

I’m getting attached, and I can’t afford for that to happen.This could turn dangerous.Complicated.All the things I don’t need or want.

I walk away in seven months, before this marriage is nothing but a broken contract.I was never supposed to feel anything real for her, and my fucking dick got in the way.Again.

My head is all over the place, a riot of all the wrong emotions; regret and frustration.I can’t do this.I need space.I need to shut this down before it’s too late.She looks at me, her lips moist lips—lips that demand to be kissed and so help me God, I so badly want to.But I hold back.

“I need to take a shower,” I tell her, scrambling to find a way to break the moment, to put my barriers back in place.

“Don’t run away, Dexter.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I’m taking a shower.”

“You just had one,” she murmurs.

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