CHAPTER15
LIES
BELLA
August
With a deep inhale,I knock on the front door. Since I don’t have my keys, I can’t slip in. That means I’ll have to come face-to-face with Jake immediately. I have no idea what to say or what I want from him. Apologies, maybe? Explanations? Reassurance? I still haven’t processed what I saw last night.
When he appears, he breaks into a relieved smile and hauls me into his chest. I let myself relax into him, winding my hands around his torso. He’s my Jake. My friend. My first love. I want to give him a chance to explain himself, and I’m willing to listen.
“Hey,” I mumble into his T-shirt.
“Hey, babe.” He kisses my forehead before tilting my chin up to look at him. “You have no idea how worried I was when you didn’t respond to my texts. I’m so glad you’re finally here.”
He guides me inside, where the TV is turned up loud and a pizza box lies open on the coffee table. Seriously? I don’t expect him to grovel, but he’s acting as if nothing happened between us.
My chest pinches as I take in the room.
Am I overreacting?
We sit side by side on the couch, and I turn to look at him. “How was the rest of your night?”
“I went home right after you left.”
“Really?” A bolt of surprise hits me. He’s the guy who closes down the club, and as pissed as he was when I left, I figured he’d really let loose.
“Babe, I don’t fucking care about the party. After you left, I realized what I’d done,” he mutters, hanging his head low. “I left you all alone for the whole evening. I didn’t think about what it must have been like for you. I was a selfish, arrogant asshole.”
Stunned, all I can do is blink. I didn’t think I’d get any sort of apology. It’s so not like him. But here he is, acknowledging his wrongdoings. Wow.
He turns to face me and grasps my hands. “Regina is just my friend. She works at the club. If you went out with me sometimes, you’d know her too. I…I flirt with her, but it doesn’t mean shit.” He leans in closer, peering at me through his dark lashes. “Do you trust me?”
Unbidden, a memory swirls in my head.
My mother sits at the kitchen table, a glass of prosecco in her hand. She’s staring at me with displeasure written all over her face.
“You want something from me, but you never want to do anything in return. You’re an ungrateful little bitch, Isabella. You only care about yourself. So, no, you can’t go to Disneyland with Meghan and her family.” She waves her hand dismissively. “Go to your room. I can’t even look at you right now. You’re ruining my mood.”
I leave the kitchen; my eyes are trained on the floor. There are no tears—they dried up long ago—but I feel emptier than I usually do. Meghan’s mom called mine and asked if I could go with them. She even offered to pay for me since it’s Meg’s birthday. My mom called me into the kitchen and glared at me as she told Meg’s mom that no, I couldn’t go. Once she hung up, she told me it was my fault. I wasn’t doing enough. I never do enough, no matter how hard I try.
She’s never happy with me.
I should do more. Help more. Be useful. Stop causing trouble.
Can I really be angry with Jake for flirting with this woman when I’m never there for him? When I refuse to go to parties and always skip the club?
No, I can’t.
I should be putting more effort into our relationship.
“Y-yeah,” I stammer.“I trust you.”
With a grin, he scoops me up and pulls me into his lap, pressing his lips to mine. Relationships take work, and they can be complicated. Both partners need to make the effort, to be more understanding of each other’s needs and feelings. By stepping back and avoiding the things that interest him, I’m not showing him just how much I care about him. We’re both at fault, and if we want to build a strong foundation, we need to change our habits.
I want to give this relationship one more chance.
He nuzzles my neck, leaving a trail of light kisses over my throat. “You made me jealous. Why did you go to Xander’s house instead of coming home? I figured you’d just sleep in the guest room.”