Page 119 of Breaking Rules

“Did you stay in touch with him after graduation?”

“We talked from time to time, had drinks when one of us was in the other’s town. No more than that.”

“And…what was your plan then?”

“Honestly?” I scrub a hand over my face. “I didn’t have one at the welcome party. I convinced myself I could do it—I could be a professional and put my personal feelings aside, focus only on the team’s success. But all night, he went on and on about our college days, and it hit me like a semitruck. All these years, he’s lived guilt-free, as if nothing happened, as if he did nothing wrong. The comment I made about you eye-fucking me? It was shitty, I know, but I did it to test the waters. And, sure enough, it proved to me he hadn’t changed at all. I looked at him, and all I saw was blood on the floor, and Stacey, skin ashen, body limp. After that, I was determined to show the world who he really is…and I wanted you to help me.”

“Ben was right,” she whispers, her features etched with devastation. “He told me I should be careful around you.”

“Bella, no. It’s not like that,” I say, hands clenched though I’m desperate to touch her. “I wanted to expose him so the world would know what he did. I wanted your help, but that dinner at his place changed things. When I saw how he acted while you weren’t around, and more so when youwerearound, I wanted nothing more than to convince you to leave him.”

“Well, I left him. Congratulations.” The tears in her eyes wreck me. With each one that falls, my heart cracks a little more. “How do you feel now?”

“When I got to know you and saw how he was treating you, my plan evolved. Miller was destroying you, and I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let him do to you what he did to Stacey.” I turn to face her, massaging my throat in hopes it’ll make talking easier. “My motivation was no longer about revenge. I wanted you to leave him foryou, for your own sanity, your own well-being. Miller doesn’t deserve you.”

“That’s why you were flirting with me…” Her voice quavers with each word.

“No. Bella, no! I’m not Jake. I was flirting with you because I liked you. I wanted to get closer to you, to make sure you were okay. I wanted to earn your trust so I could eventually reveal his secrets and show you who he really is,” I rasp, the words clogging my throat. My heart pounds against my sternum, and blood rushes to my head, making me dizzy. “The day you walked out of my house after I promised to be there for you whenever you needed me, I acknowledged a few things. It wasn’t just an attraction anymore. It was deeper. It was so wrong of me, and yet…I wanted you so badly. I’d never wanted to kiss anyone more than I wanted to kiss you.” I set my elbows on my knees and lean forward, holding her gaze. “I want you for you, for the person you are. It has nothing to do with Miller or what happened in college.”

Bottom lip caught between her teeth, she scrutinizes me. I can’t blame her for being apprehensive. After what I just revealed, she’s probably second-guessing everything that happened between us, wondering how many lies I’ve told her.

In the end, the truth is simple.

My attempts to convince her I don’t do relationships were ridiculous. From the moment we first kissed, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

“I haven’t been with anyone since that morning at Miller’s house.” I clear my throat, my mouth dry and my voice hoarse. “Only you.”

“Why?” She looks at me with such intensity, I swear she can see down deep, all the way to my soul.

I straighten, hoping like hell she can feel my sincerity. It’s the only way I can make things right. “Because I fell for you, hook, line, and sinker.”

Eyes widening, she lets out the tiniest gasp.

“The only lie I ever told you was the one I told myself as well. I said I don’t do relationships, but I was a fool. I want to do relationships…but only with you. I’m in love with you, Bella.”

As tears stream down her face, she gapes, bewildered. I sit still, watching her. I understand her reaction. All her life, she has been treated as if she’s nothing. She has been told over and over again that she isn’t enough. Her soul is so damaged, yet it’s also beautiful. I see light in there. I see hope. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her.

She is my perfect match.

“I love you. Only you,” I confess again.

“I…I l-lov-ve y-you-u too,” she sobs.

In one smooth motion, I move closer and haul her onto my lap. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, hiding her face in the crook of my neck.

I close my eyes and massage her back with my palm. “Shh, baby, shh. Don’t cry,” I whisper. “I’m here. I’ll never let you go. Never. You’re mine, Bella, and I don’t need anyone else. Only you.”

I have no idea how long we sit like this, tangled in each other. Bella’s crying subsides, but even after she quiets, I don’t let her move.

“Will you stay?” I ask. “Or do you want me to take you to your aunt’s?”

Pulling back, she worries her lip. “I want to stay.”

My heart sinks at the hesitation in her voice. “But?”

“What does all this mean? Who are we to each other?”

“I’m your friend,” I say confidently.

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