Page 118 of Breaking Rules

Fuck.

I’d do anything to make her see me the way she did before, but it’s not possible. If I want her in my future, I have to tell the truth, and so I open my mouth and continue.

“Things really took a turn during our senior year. On my way to class one day, I bumped into a girl…a very beautiful girl. Her name was Stacey. We’d had the occasional class together, but I’d never paid much attention to her. This time, though, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. From that moment on, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. So, I invited her out for coffee.”

A ghost of a smile quirks my lips, but it disappears almost instantly as the vivid memories reappear in my mind.

“Stacey was smart and gentle. She had a kind heart and always wanted to see the good in people. What I felt for her was different than anything I’d ever experienced before. As I got to know her, the parties, the alcohol, the hookups—they didn’t mean anything. When we officially started dating, I abandoned that altogether. I focused more on my grades, and Coach was thrilled with my performance on the field, as well as my attitude.

“Audrey met Stacey when she came home with me for winter break; my sister absolutely adored her. They became friends pretty quickly, and for the first time in my life, it didn’t bother me that Audrey was meddling. I was happy.

“Jake, on the other hand, was not. He became my worst enemy. Sabotaging me. Bad-mouthing me. Giving me shit constantly. Calling me a pussy for changing my ways. I didn’t care. I was done with him and our friendship, but he wasn’t done with me.”

Bella kneads her chest with the heel of her hand, watching me with a pained expression. Everything in me crumbles, the truth wrecking me all over again.

“Miller started flirting with Stacey, making suggestive comments and touching her inappropriately. I told him to stop, more than once. He never listened. He swore Stacey was no different from all the other girls we’d been with, and he promised to prove it to me. One day, I walked into our dorm room and caught them fucking on my damned bed?—”

“Oh my God,” Bella gasps, her hand flying to her mouth. Unshed tears glimmer in her eyes.

I lick my dry lips, locking my hands back in front of me. “I was pissed. Well, no—I was heartbroken. I went home. I needed to be with my family. Stacey called me, sent me text after text. I deleted them without reading. I didn’t want to hear anything from her. I felt betrayed, and I promised I’d never let any girl make me feel like that again. I was bigger than that. I was Alexander Walker, a winner, not a loser. I got over it.

“What’s crazy is that things between Miller and me chilled out after that. He said he did it to prove I couldn’t trust her. I didn’t believe him, not for a second, but for the sake of my future, I made my peace with it.

“Two months later, Stacey sent me one simple message. All it said was, ‘Goodbye.’ I couldn’t tell you what made me go to her room. I hadn’t spoken to her, and yet…I rushed over.”

My throat closes before I can get the next words out. The image of blood on the tile, of her in the bathroom, haunts me to this day. The nightmares still make me sick to my stomach. They’re just as vivid as they were back then. No amount of therapy, no amount of support from my family, has helped me forget what I saw. BecauseIruined her life.

“She… Stacey tried to commit suicide. She slit her wrists. I did everything I could to keep her alive. Fuck, I was so scared. I rushed her to the hospital, and the doctors were able to save her. She recovered physically, but I don’t think she ever did mentally.

“Her mother thanked me for saving her, and she begged me to talk to her daughter, to listen to what she had to say. I did, for her and for me…I needed closure. That’s how I found out that Miller had drugged her. He made her believe she was with me. Miller broke her because he couldn’t handle the idea that there was someone in my life more important than him. It was a betrayal in his mind, and he wanted to make me pay. So, he used Stacey. He ruined our relationship like it was nothing.

“I broke his nose the day I talked to Stacey for the last time. He apologized, over and over, but it wasn’t enough. It’s never been enough. I wanted to make him pay for what he did.”

CHAPTER37

HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER

XANDER

November

“What do you mean?”Bella asks.

Milo jumps off the couch and trots to the kitchen, as if sensing the change in the atmosphere.

“When the truth was revealed, I cut him out of my life. I didn’t want anything to do with him. If he’d seduced her and she’d given in, that would have been one thing, but drugging her? I couldn’t forgive that.”

“Jake tells the story differently. He said he was the one who dated her, and you were the villain who wanted to snatch her away.” She hugs herself again, running her hands up and down her arms, trying to warm herself up.

I want to move closer and comfort her, but I keep my distance. I’m not sure she wants me to touch her.

“I didn’t believe him. Something about his story was off.” She tilts her head to the side. “Why are you still talking to him?”

“I couldn’t avoid him, even if I wanted to. It was the last semester of our senior year, and we were still roommates. He and I slowly started talking again. It wasn’t the same, and I knew it, but I tried to be civil. Miller thought I’d already moved on, that I’d forgotten everything…and I let him believe that.” I peer at Bella. She looks miserable.

“Did you agree to play for the Warriors so you could get back at him?” She furrows her brow.

“No. I love football. I’m good at it. Coming here was a step forward in my career. This is what I need to be at the top of my game. Plus, my parents live here. I made that decision with a clear mind.” I wet my lips. “If anything, Jake was the reason I hesitated when I got the offer. I wasn’t sure I could handle being his teammate again.”

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