Page 117 of Breaking Rules

“I’m intrigued.” I settle beside her and lean back against the cushions. “Mind starting it again?”

“Sure, but…maybe we can talk first?” She shifts so she’s fully facing me.

My pulse picks up, and a lump lodges itself in my throat. This is what I wanted, but I’m still nervous.

“Sure.” I stand a little too quickly. “I’ll go change my clothes and be back, okay?”

I don’t wait for her to respond before I dart from the room.

It’s time to tell her everything.

* * *

“So…”I sit on the opposite end of the couch and turn to get a better look at Bella.

She turned off the TV, and now she’s cradling a steaming mug of coffee between her palms. Her blue eyes are like the sky on a clear summer day.

I rough a shaky hand down my face. “Did Jake try to convince you to stay?” That was not what I planned to say, but I go with it. “I saw him today, and it made me think…”

She snorts. “He knew we were done, but yeah, he did. He also admitted he cheated on me.”

“God, he’s stupider than I thought.” I shake my head. “I would never cheat on you.”

Bella sets her mug on the coffee table, averting her eyes. “‘Never’ is a very strong word.”

Fuck, I didn’t think I could hate Miller more than I already did.

“I never say words I don’t mean.”

“I know. Just…” She looks up, her expression full of apprehension. “Can you please tell me what happened, like you promised?”

With a nod, I trace my front teeth with my tongue. I take a minute to collect my thoughts; then, with a deep sigh, I lean back on the couch. “I’m sorry I didn’t do this a long time ago, but I wanted you to make up your mind about Miller first. To decide for yourself that he wasn’t right for you, not because I told you what he did.”

She dips her chin in confirmation but doesn’t speak.

“In high school, Jake and I played for rival teams. Then we ended up being college roommates. At first, it was great. We had similar interests. Football, obviously, and we both majored in finance. But after a while, our personalities clashed.

“My freshman year, I focused on football and my classes. That was it. I was set on being at the top of my game, and I was. I was the best quarterback the team had seen in years.” I chuckle. “It sounds cocky, but it’s the truth. Not gonna lie—it boosted my ego. Miller was impressive as fuck too, and Coach was always saying he hit the jackpot when he recruited the two of us. It was like that until Jake and I started causing problems—because of girls.

“During my freshman year, I hooked up with girls pretty regularly. I was a typical college jock, I guess. But things changed sophomore year. I started off focused on football again, even to the point where I sort of ignored my family. I was the big man on campus; I was unstoppable on the field and could get any girl I wanted. I had it all. Life was perfect—until Miller and I set our sights on the same girl.”

I take a deep breath. I don’t dare to look at Bella, choosing my clasped hands instead. It doesn’t help. Her gaze is burning holes into my skin. My heart has climbed all the way up my throat, and I can feel my pulse in my fingertips.

“What happened next?” she asks in a quiet voice, giving me the push I need to continue.

“Neither one of us had slept with her, and it quickly became a competition. He and I razzed each other, fucked with each other. Once, we got into a fight. It was stupid, but that’s when we really became rivals. Frenemies. We’d smile at each other while holding knives behind our backs, ready to strike any minute.

“Coach noticed. The team atmosphere became toxic, and being in my room was stressful. We were competitive, and neither of us wanted to be the one to back away, which added to an already enormous pile of problems. Miller was the one who suggested a solution: the first one to fuck her wins, and afterward we’d forget about the whole ordeal no matter what the results were.

“I won. It should’ve been the solution to our problem, a one-time thing. Instead, it started something way bigger and way darker. It became our routine: find a new girl and see who would score first. Sometimes it was me; other times it was Jake. On our more successful days, it was both of us. At the same time.”

I’ve broken out in a cold sweat, but I make myself look up at her. She has her arms wrapped around her middle, her face drained of color. My head pounds, making my vision blurry.

But I have to get it all out, regardless of how badly I want to shut up.

I take a shallow breath, my chest caving as I divert my attention back to my hands. “It lasted for two years. We visited Europe, where we continued our sick games. I didn’t think we were doing anythingtoobad, you know? It didn’t occur to me that we were using these girls, that we were treating them as if they didn’t deserve respect. I thought it was okay.”

In my periphery, Bella visibly shrinks, catching my attention. Her expression is distraught, and a dark energy lurks behind her irises. I was a disgusting pig back then, and now she knows it.

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