Page 33 of Same Time Next Summer

Wyatt let out a little laugh, but it wasn’t the happy laugh she remembered. There was pain to it. “Yeah, it’s been a long time.”

“It’s been twelve months, if you haven’t been keeping track.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that.”

This sounded to Sam like something you’d say when you bumped someone’s shoulder in the hall. Not after you’d totally abandoned a person who was in love with you.

“How’s LA?”

“Fine,” he said. “I mean, not fine. I guess that’s why I’m calling.”

Sam felt her heart open up, right back to that place where she would do anything for him, where she loved him so much that the thought of his not being fine actually hurt. “Why? What happened?”

Wyatt let out a breath. “I tried. I guess that’s what happened. I’ve just been surfing and writing songs and pumping gas since I got here, kind of imagining myself as a rock star.”

This was exactly what Sam had been imagining him doing, though also waiting tables. She was lying on the couchnow with her eyes closed, taking in the sound of his voice. “So what did you try?”

“Last night I went to an open mic thing in the Valley. There were a bunch of shitty bands performing, and I got up and sang a song I wrote.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Well just my luck, this big record producer was there, and he went out of his way to tell me that my voice sucks.”

“He did not say that, there’s no way.”

“Okay, well, he said my voice could never carry a band and wasn’t strong enough to record well, which is a nice way of saying I suck.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. Sam loved Wyatt’s singing voice, but she knew enough not to say so because it would sound like something your mom said to try to make you feel better.

“Yeah. So I guess now I’m a guy who surfs and works at a gas station. Not an aspiring rock star. I feel like I have nothing left.”

“I know the feeling,” Sam said, looking up at a crack that ran halfway down the living room ceiling. It reminded her of the crack in her bedroom ceiling that she’d spent the past year staring at, willing it to spontaneously close and heal her. Dr. Judy was trying to get her to stop all this magical thinking. She sat straight up on the couch. “Wait. Why are you calling me now?”

“I guess I just woke up sad,” he said. “I needed someone to talk to.”

Sam heard the strangest sound come from deep in her throat. It was a laugh, but a hard laugh; if a goose couldlaugh, it would have sounded like this. “You needed someone to talk to? You?”

“Yeah.” Wyatt sounded small and clueless. And selfish. Sam could feel her heart constricting. She did not want to comfort him.

“I don’t know how to break it to you, Wyatt, but I’ve also needed someone to talk to. You see, my boyfriend, who said he loved me, who was my whole fucking life, just kind of dropped off the face of the earth. Not really sure who I was supposed to call to get through that. It’s not like you were picking up the phone when I needed you.”

“I know, Sam. It was a hard time for me too. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry.” Sam remembered how ineffective these words were when her dad was apologizing to her mom. She felt the sloppiness of these words, a casual nod to the rubble after you’ve totally destroyed something. Sam paced the length of the living room and felt the anger spread throughout her body.

“I am. And I want you to forgive me because I really need you right now.”

Fireworks. Cataclysmic explosions. Sam could feel all of this anger erupting. She felt it burning through any last bits of depression or longing, and she was startled to discover that she was smiling.

“I needed you then. So you don’t get to come back for me now.” She heard the front door open, and her parents rolled Gracie’s stroller into the living room. “And in other news,” she said, smiling at her parents, “I got into NYU today. So that’s what I’m doing. Don’t call me again.” And she hung up.

“Darling! That’s fantastic!” Laurel said, taking her in her arms.

Bill dropped his backpack and joined in the hug. “I’m so proud of you, Sam.” When Laurel was in the kitchen inspecting the proof of her admission, Bill asked, “So who was that on the phone?”

“Nobody. Absolutely nobody,” said Sam.

PART 2

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