Page 93 of A Game of Monsters

“You need to rest,” I said, knowing Duncan needed more than that. He needed a healer – someone to tend to his weakness and fragility.

Duncan winced. “All I have done is rest. I don’t want to waste a moment of waking again.”

I looked up at him, wishing to imprint myself on his body, just to prove that this was real, and he was here.

“I really thought I was going to lose you,” I said, carefully studying the nuance of his expression.

Duncan refused to look at me when he replied. Nor did he tell me I wasn’t going to lose him. “Because of the Duwar-possession part, or the Erix part?”

A sharp prang of pain shot through my chest. “Both.”

Duncan’s smile was weak, but bright. The most beautiful thing the world could offer me.

“I would be a fool to give you up so easily, darling.” Duncan used the last possible speck of energy and reached for my face. He drew me up from the floor, pulling my body atop him. He felt so small beneath me, as fragile as glass. Regardless, he wrapped his arms around my back and held me upon him. “That is why I know Erix will come around.”

“Why do this for me?” I said, peering across minimal inches between us.

“Because I love you, and Erix loves you. You are the hinge that keeps us together. But I am not only doing it for you. I am doing it for me, and for Erix. I care for him, deeply, and I have seen into his mind to know that he shares in that feeling. Mutual understanding is important in this journey, Erix’s, yours and mine. We must make this decision together.”

“And will you be by my side, to experience this together, regardless of the answers?” There, I said it. Got the haunting question that lingered in my mind.

Duncan’s answer was the same as it had been. “I hope so.”

Not a yes, not a no.

“I don’t deserve either of you,” I admitted my insecurity aloud. “That is how I feel.”

“Shh,” Duncan said, lips quivering. “Saying that is like suggesting we don’t deserve to make that decision ourselves.”

I leaned in, resting my forehead on Duncan’s. “I missed you, darling,” he said.

“I missed you so much,” I replied, the words breaking out in a violent sob. “I don’t want to ever lose you again. Either of you.”

A strange, imposing weight lifted from my shoulders.

I waited for Duncan to tell me that he wasn’t going anywhere, but of course he didn’t. We both knew his tomorrow was yet to be secured. He was suffering in the wake of Duwar – greatly.

“I could never leave you,” Duncan whispered. “Not for long.”

He lifted his finger and pointed to his eye, his heart and then to me.

Our signal. Our way of saying I love you without words. Seeing him do it, this side of surviving Duwar’s possession, ruined me. So, I did the only thing I could think to do, and I laid my mouth upon his. The moment our lips touched, a small chirp erupted from deep within me. A sound born from the mixture of relief and sadness.

“I love you too,” I gasped against his mouth. “So much, Duncan. So,sofucking much that it burns inside of me.”

His shaking hand traced up my back, fingers knotting in my hair. Duncan tightened his grip, holding me to him as our touch melded into one. The kiss was not frantic or desperate, but slow. It was as if he longed to draw out the moment, just as much as I did.

When I drew back, Duncan didn’t open his eyes again. His chest rose and fell, the tension in his face lessening as his exhaustion caught up.

I moved to get off him, but he moaned, proving he was still awake. “Stay with me,” he pleaded. “Just a little longer.”

I couldn’t refuse him. Duncan was as much my weakness as he was my strength. So, I curled on the side of the bed, nestled my body into his. I would need to speak with Rafaela about a healer – someone on Irobel who could help him. Duncan would need time, or a miracle. I hoped both were possibilities.

“Robin,” Duncan whispered so quietly it took effort to hear him. “As much as those chains weren’t meant to excite me, I think I actually miss them. Maybe when the world goes back to normal, we can give them a try?”

My laugh was honest, born from a place his sarcasm touched. “You’re terrible, Duncan!”

“Silver linings,” he exhaled, voice sleepy.

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