Page 91 of A Game of Monsters

I knew what was coming before the words left Duncan’s paled lips. “I’ll do my best.”

Duncan’s eyes lifted to Erix and rested there. “Do you lovehim?”

Him. Erix. My Erix.

I pinched my eyes closed, blocking out the view of the room. It was as if Erix held his breath for my answer, whereas Duncan’s breathing was even, his heart beating calmly in the tips of his fingers.

I thought of Elinor and how quickly someone could be taken away. My mind went to Gyah and how she was needing to exist knowing the love of her life was in the hands of our enemy.

If Erix had died… it would have destroyed me.

The answer was simple.

“Yes,” I said, the only word I required to share. “Yes, I do.”

It took bravery for me to open my eyes and see the reaction, but I did it. Because if it caused Duncan pain, I deserved to see it. I couldn’t hide anymore. Not from reality – not from what I wanted.

Erix stood stockstill, silent, his hand now at his side. Silver eyes were fixed to me, so bright I blamed the light coming in from the porthole, only to find that it was tears in his eyes that made them glow.

“I should go,” Erix said suddenly, body springing into flight, ready to run away from the ruins my admission had likely caused. “We are exhausted, and our worlds have been turned upside down. Robin – you don’t know what you are saying…”

I longed to tell him to stay, but it was Duncan who spoke for me,again. In fact, he gestured to the bed at my side and gave Erix a command. “Sit, Erix. Don’t run from this. Life is far too precious to waste, especially in the face of a chance like this. Especially when I know how you really wish to respond to Robin’s admissions. Walk out that door and you will regret it, I know you will.”

I held my breath as Erix pondered Duncan’s request. It felt like hours went by before he made his decision and walkedawayfrom the door. He paced the room, closing the space between us, then sat at my side.

I was sandwiched between the two most important men in my life.

“I need you both to listen to me very carefully,” Duncan began, leaning forwards so he could see Erix. There was nothing sad in his verdant eyes, no nuance of an expression to suggest that he was surprised or hurt by what I’d said. “I haven’t flirted with death, been given a second chance at life, only to waste it.”

“You barely look like you have been given that chance yet, Duncan,” Erix said, eyeing him from across me, drinking in the same weak state. “This conversation can wait until after you are healed.”

“It will happen now,” Duncan said, but I sensed there was more to it. Something Duncan was not telling us.

Losing Elinor had been the trigger for me to stop hiding the feelings inside. The guilt, the angst, the turmoil. What did it all matter if, one day, I didn’t have the chance to ever say it.

“I was the one who brought you both together,” Duncan said. “Me. And I did it because I love Robin so much, that even in the face of my potential demise, I knew I couldn’t leave him alone in this world. And Erix.” He spoke directly to the man at my right. “I trust no one else, in this realm or the next, to care for Robin like I do, besidesyou. I recognise that you care for him, with the same intensity that I do. In fact, I have known as much since you saved me from Imeria. I’d be a fool not to see it, and a double fool to not use that to my advantage.”

“It was my duty to look out for Robin,” Erix said, hands fiddling on his lap. It was my pleasure.“As his guard, I only did what I had to do.”

Duncan released a small laugh. “Don’t lie to me, Erix, or yourself. You deserve better than that. In this room, we only speak from a place of honesty. Unless you wish to tell me that I’m wrong, and you don’t hold a flame for Robin? Look him in the eyes and tell him that you don’t care for him in equal measure to me.”

I already knew the answer, because Erix told me during the night of the ball.

I was about to turn away, but something in the intensity of Erix’s gaze had me pausing. Then the words left his mouth, I felt my entire body crumble.

“I love him with every fibre of my being,” Erix admitted. “If it came to it, I would lay my life down for him happily, if it meant he got to survive another day.”

My hand moved without thought. It was a need – a desperate and selfish desire that had no concerns. With my left fingers entwined with Duncan, I put my right hand upon Erix’s balled fist.

Like a flower blooming beneath spring sun, his fist uncurled, and my hand melted into his.

“This isn’t fair,” I said, speaking to both of them. “You deserve someone who can give you their entire heart. Not half of it. Both of you.”

“Darling,” Duncan said softly. “A heart is not something you can split. Mortals are not bound by such constraints. You admit you love me, and you love Erix. To me, the path forwards is clear. But it is a path that we can only take together, not only hand in hand, but side by side.”

Erix’s eyes widened. “The dreams. The visions that plagued me every night. Those were because of you, weren’t they?”

Duncan nodded, his thumb brushing circles on mine. “Courtesy of Duwar. The Gardineum may have kept me asleep, the iron may have dulled my magic, but nothing could truly dampen the power source that is Duwar. I couldn’t use it often without my body paying the price – but in moments when I knew it was desperate, I tried to bring you together. And now we are here, alive, with the potential of a tomorrow ahead of us, I think it is time we discuss it.”

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