Page 159 of A Game of Monsters

To them, I’d survived. The truth of the fact was far worse. Because I was not the only one to defy death.

The shard of Duwar had survived alongside me.

Both men looked at me as if I were an apparition, seconds from fading from view. I wished that was true. Knowing what I had survived, and kept with me, was enough to shatter my soul.

“I… just needed some fresh air,” I said, sagging back onto the bed as my limbs gave up on me.

In seconds, Erix’s arms were around me, gathering me to his chest. Duncan joined, the bedframe bowing beneath his added weight as he forged his arms around me.

I pinched my eyes closed, wishing to enjoy their touch – whilst suffering inside, knowing what I continued to harbour.

“Not everyone can face death and survive. And yet you have. Robin, you must not rush this,” Duncan said, longing to reach for me, to lay fingers on me and prove that I was real. “Take your time, do not give your body any more of a shock than it has had.”

“What matters” – Erix leaned his forehead onto my shoulder, gasping out his words – “is you came back to us. You fought hard, and for that I will be forever thankful.”

I couldn’t speak. Words failed me. Even if I wanted to say something, there was a lump of iron in my throat, keeping me from uttering a sound.

Duncan shifted until he knelt before me, Erix still at my back. His eyes roamed over me, settling on the new wound on my chest, then back to my face. I could see he was looking for proof that this was not real – but then his expression softened as he came up empty handed.

“Did I… Did I hurt you?” Duncan asked, eyes flicking back down to my chest.

“No.” I lifted shaking fingers and pressed them to my tender skin. “I saw your light and followed it back to you.”

Duncan practically melted at my words. Then he gathered me up, soft wings wrapping around me, whilst Erix’s folded in from the back. I was encased in them both, unable to think of anything but their touch, their scent – the very real pressure of two bodies.

“Cassial?” I said the name in question, feeling as though I had to hold my breath as I waited for my answer.

“Dead,” Erix confirmed. “Four days ago, now.”

Relief was short lived. I knew he was dead; I’d seen his head part from his shoulders, no one could survive that.

“I’ve missed four days?”

I couldn’t believe how much time had passed. All I knew was that I had survived, and so had Duwar. Whatever state the world was in, it was forever going to be under threat.

“Duwar–” the name got stuck in the back of my throat. “Is still a problem, isn’t it?”

Those voices I had heard beyond the dark were not illusions or punishment. It was my subconscious listening in to a world that I was slowly vacating.

A world Duncan and Erix had given me a second chance to experience.

“That’s not for you to worry about right now,” Duncan said, doe eyes wide with concern. “What matters is that you have survived, we haven’t lost you.”

Right now – but still a problem. That was enough to answer my concerns.

Duncan was undoubtedly burdened by something. Erix shared in his feeling. Both men believed Cassial, but they did not rejoice. They did not tell me everything was okay.

Because we all knew it wasn’t.

“I took the poison… I should have died.”

“Seraphine tricked you,” Erix explained, silver tears falling from silver eyes. “But most of all, she tricked us too. Robin, if I’d known what you had on you, I wouldn’t have agreed to leave you… I would’ve fought tooth and nail at your side…”

“Erix, don’t.” I grasped his hand, squeezing. Mine was steady, evident against the violent tremble of his. “Please, you don’t need to hold onto guilt or regret.”

Those were emotions for me to wear proudly.

Mouth dry, I managed a final question as the exhaustion built to new heights within me. “How did she do it?”

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