Page 13 of A Game of Monsters

Being without Duncan’s touch had starved me. I was famished for the comfort a familiar hand could offer. Or was this the remnants of the dream-world lingering? But it wasn’t Erix who could offer it to me, and he knew it.

“I fear the moment I tell you, that it will make it all real,” Erix said, leaning forwards with his elbows propped on his knees. He looked… exhausted, defeated almost.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Not because anything he said was humorous, but because we were finally facing the maelstrom of secrets he’d kept from me. It was a reaction born of relief. “It’s real already, Erix. Duncan is… Duncan isn’t himself and hasn’t been since you saved him.” Saved him. Could I even call it that anymore? “Many of us changed after Rinholm, but Duncan… it is different. Darker.”

Erix leaned closer, his fingers reaching out for my knee, his touch exactly what I needed in that moment.

“Take your time,” he commanded, looking through his lashes at me.

I nodded, gathering myself. “I’ve tried everything to help him, but I have finally run out of hope.” I choked on my emotion as it clogged my throat, control over myself a far-off concept.

“The Gardineum was never for you, was it?” Erix asked, refusing to look away.

I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t.”

Erix slumped forwards, burying his face in his hands. His breathing came out ragged, so much so that the urge to lay a hand on him so he could feel comfort was a siren call hard to ignore. His hands clawed into fists, the knuckles white with tension. Fleetingly, I reached over and let him feel my touch, to know he wasn’t alone. Just as it worked for me, it seemed to have the same effect, because Erix’s hand slowly shifted until it lay over mine, keeping me in place for a few seconds.

Then the connection severed, as I knew it would.

“Duwar was waiting for him when we fell through the gate,” Erix began, clearing his throat to give room for the self-assured man to tell this story. “The world beyond it was in complete ruin, not a single sign of life. The sky was blood red, the ground leached of colour. It felt like… death, and yet there was something else. A potential for power I could not place my finger on.” Erix looked up and met my gaze. “But then there Duwar was, except it was not the demon I expected to see–”

“What do you mean?” I encouraged, needing to know.

“It – it did not look the same as it had when we saw its reflection. Certainly not the same figure we saw in Aldrick’s mirrors. Duwar wasn’t the horned, fire-and-brimstone form. They looked… normal, almost. A vision I certainly didn’t expect.”

My breath caught in my throat. I dared not move for fear it would stop the truth from finally being shared. Everything Erix was saying, horrifying as it was, was knowledge I craved since the moment I first knew that Duwar had successfully escaped in Duncan’s body.

Erix took a deep breath in, and said, “It was another trick. A lure to get Duncan close, no doubt. And it worked.”

It was no different to what Duwar was doing to me now. Using Duncan to lure me in only to ensnare me in a trap.

“What did Duwar do to him, Erix?” I asked, voice trembling. “I know it physically marked him, the scars he had on his chest still don’t heal. But surely I’m missing something in all of this?”

Silence hummed between us, Erix barely blinking as if he was trapped in a memory that frightened him to death.

“Please,” I persisted. “You need to tell me.”

“Duwar was just… talking. Duncan was listening. I – I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Duncan wasn’t frightened. He didn’t fight back. And then…” Erix shook his head, struggling with the memory.

“What you are going to say may be the key to fixing this. TosavingDuncan.”

“Those marks, the scars that will not heal, that was when Duncan got them. It wasn’t because Duwar attacked him, there was no sense of danger between either of them. It… I tried to get to Duncan. I was too slow. If I was just a little quicker, then–” Erix lifted his hand and began slamming his fist into his head.

I felt his pain and suffering as though it twanged down a taut piece of string connecting us to one another.

“Stop it,” I cried, leaping from the bed and snatching his arm. It took all my might to stop him from hitting himself. “Stop, Erix. I fucking command it! Do you hear me. Stop thisnow.”

The resistance in Erix’s arm faltered enough for me to gain control. I stood over him, panting for breath, as I made sure he couldn’t hurt himself again. His eyes were fixed on an unimportant place on the floor, his brows furrowed and wings twitching nervously.

“I understand this is hard,” I said, laying fingers beneath his chin. I guided his head up until his eyes found mine again. That seemed to calm him. “It’s been torture for me. But hearing you speak so freely about Duwar, it makes me feel a little less insane in all of this. And as horrifying as the truth is, it is giving me the comfort I have desired for months.”

“All this time and you’ve been coping with this alone.” Erix shook himself, giving up his fight against me, the side of his head bloomed red from the force of his hits. He looked at me through tear-filled eyes, which broke me to the core. The gaze of a haunted man, the very same I saw in my own reflection every time I lifted the mirror beside Duncan’s bed. “I can’t live with myself knowing I left you…”

“I made you go, Erix. That is my fault, not yours.” I wished he not only heard me but felt the sincerity in my tone. “When you are ready, I need you to explain how Duwar was able to trick Duncan enough to get close.”

What Erix revealed next was not what I expected to hear from his pale lips.

“It was you,” Erix said. “The being I saw Duncan talking with was you. Not the demon-god, butyou. I think that was why Duncan got close – he was confused because there you were, waiting for him, as if he’d not just fallen into the hellscape that was Duwar’s realm.”

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