Page 10 of A Game of Monsters

I shook my head. “I’m referring to killing you. Destroying you.”

It would be easy, one slip of the hand, a few bubbles of air injected into a vein. This suffering, this torture, this threat – it would be over once and for all. But it was Duncan’s life tangled in this web, and I couldn’t just throw it away. Not until each and every path was exhausted for solutions.

Duwar didn’t reply to me straight away. Instead, he watched me with adoration and abhorrence swirling as one in those lifeless eyes of his. He blinked, and when he opened his eyes again, I knew the man I loved was back in control.

“Then you must kill me, Robin.”

I lifted the mirror again and confirmed that Duwar had left me to deal with the repercussions of my angered retort. It was Duncan’s face in the reflection, fleeting, but him nevertheless. “You can finish this. Do what is required and end me.Please.”

Endless days of these injections, and the same amount of times I heard that plea.Kill me.Sometimes it was a demand, a command. Other times Duncan would plead with me, begging like a child wanting a new toy.Kill me, damn you. Kill me, please. Kill me, save me. No matter how he said it, no matter the tone or pitch of his voice, it hurt all the same. It never changed.

Neither did my answer.

“I can’t.”

Because killing him might take Duwar along within him, or it might not. I wouldn’t risk losing him for nothing, if Duwar’s presence would only find a new way to linger on.

“Duncan is dying anyway,” he said, although Duncan’s voice no longer his own. The tug and pull between Duncan and the demon becoming frantic and fast. “This body is not made for me. You can either kill him, or I will. But Duncan will die,unlessyou accept me.”

“Fuck. You.” I seethed until my throat ached, my control finally snapping.

“Coward,” Duwar hissed, wide eyed, lips cracking until blood seeped over his teeth. His face screwed up as he continued his internal war for control. “I–it’s me. Robin, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Duwar is scared, it knows it will perish if I–”

Duncan bit down on his tongue until blood seeped out the gaps of his cracked lips.

“Enough,” I scolded, speaking to both man and demon.

I held his stare, refusing to look away. Did Duwar watch on, suffering as his vessel was poisoned, weakened, to a pointless and pathetic husk? “Duwar’s right. Iama coward. But damn it, Duncan, I would be a coward over and over again, if it means getting the chance to save you.”

“I don’t want to play this game anymore, Robin.” When he closed his eyes, Duncan didn’t open them again. “I’m so tired. My body is weak, my spirit shattered.”

“I know, but Ineedyou to fight. Just a little bit longer, that’s all. You are doing everything you can, and trust me that I’m also trying to solve this, too.” I leaned down and placed a soft kiss to his forehead. His brown hair had grown enough that it spilled around the pillow like serpents. I took my time, brushing it, pretending like life was normal and he was not begging for me to kill him.

“What life is this…” Duncan said slowly, his voice tired, “if I cannot spend it by your side freely?”

A violent shiver raced over my flesh. “I’ll find a way to make sure that happens.”

Duncan’s eyes fluttered open for a brief moment. The deep grooves of tension across his forehead had eased, his dark brows relaxed as the poison worked its magic. “I know you don’t believe me, but this powercouldsave the world.”

Duncan was believing the demon’s own lies. They were one and the same, minds and intentions blending.

I ran my hand down the side of his face. “You know, deep down, that those promises are lies meant to manipulate us. Duwar is bad. You are good. Fight it. Remember yourself. Do it for me.”

“I’m trying.” Duncan fought against sleep but was quickly losing. “But Robin… You need…”

“You,” I answered for him. “I need you. Remember, Duwar is not the solution to this problem, but the cause–”

“No,” Duncan snapped alert, using the little dregs of energy left. “Listen to me. When I’m gone, you will need…Erix.”

More words I’d heard, over and over.

I was unable to form a reply. With steady hands, I placed the instrument of torture back in its case. Numb to my core, I stopped at the chair, folded the blanket like I did every morning and made a move to exit the room.

I came to a halt at the door. When I turned back to face Duncan, I did the same action I’d been doing whilst this ordeal had begun. I locked my gaze with his where he continued to watch me. Then I lifted my finger to my eye, then pointed above my heart before gesturing to where Duncan lay.

I love you.Words I couldn’t speak aloud because how could I dare utter them after the way I treated him?

Duncan, with weak trembling hands, copied my action. Pointing to his eye, then to his heart and then finally lifting his hand toward me, as much as the chains allowed him to do.

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