Page 79 of A Deception of Courts

“I thought we agreed you would not leave me again,” Duncan said, attempting to offer a smile.

“Are you planning on stopping me?” I replied, unable to control the torrent of emotion in my voice.

I hated how I sounded, but I couldn’t change it. My defeat and exhaustion were in control, and I couldn’t do anything but allow it to puppeteer me. They say you took your pain out on the people you loved the most, but Duncan deserved more than this version of me. That is why I had to leave.

“No, I won’t stop you, Robin. You know that.”

Did I wish for him to say otherwise, or was the disappointment conjured by something else? “I do.”

“Get the fresh air you need, and I will be here waiting for you, ready to talk this through when you are ready.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to thank him, but I couldn’t say it.

I rushed to clothe myself before I changed my mind. It would be easier for me to crawl back into bed with Duncan, but I forced myself to keep moving.

“I won’t be long,” I said, as if he’d asked. Duncan didn’t say a word, instead he just nodded.

Part of me wanted Duncan to remind me what happened the last time I walked out on him. Maybe it would have the power to cut through my tantrum and stop me. But Duncan kept silent as he watched me from the edge of the bed.

He only spoke when I gripped the door handle and turned it. His voice was loud above the screeching of the worn, tired metal.

“Robin, just promise me you’ll come back to me.”

The pain in his voice almost buckled my knees beneath me.

“Always,” I whispered, my voice calming as my strength dwindled.

“All I want is to help you, Robin, but I can only do so when you want it from me. So, when you are ready, I will be here to talk about what has upset you. If you don’t wish to share it with me, then I will not ask again. But promise me, you will come back.”

“I said I will.”

“No,” Duncan growled deep within his throat. “Promise it.”

I felt as though his reaction was born more from just my reaction to the nightmare. And from the way his gaze moved to the door I stood before, as though settling on something in the distance that neither of us could see, I wondered if he thought of Erix, too.

“I promise,” I said.

I forced myself out of the room, down the creaking stairs and out into the cold street of Berrow. My feet carried me away from the house as I embedded myself into the silence of the town as its new occupants slept. Not that I cared for the cold, but I naturally drew the cloak around my shoulders until the torrents of winter winds were kept at bay.

It was easier to count my steps as I walked aimlessly through Berrow. Counting kept the visions of Jesibel buried. But it wasn’t only her face that haunted me. In waking, it was Erix. I found my mind demanding to know if he’d left. Did I want to know that he had gone again, or did I wish to find him lingering in the dark room within the abandoned house I’d last seen him in?

Neither thought filled me with any warmth, neither question I had an answer to.

I kept walking, kicking mounds of snow and ice that had drifted into piles at the edges of the path. Only the moon guided me through the town, not that I cared about getting lost.

It was only when my feet were tired, and my mind finally felt like my own, that I heard the noise again. The sound that had been both within my dream and welcomed me when I had woken from it.

The squawk of a bird. Not entirely uncommon during the late hours, but usually I’d expect the hoot of an owl. Whatever this was sounded different – familiar.

And it was close.

I slowed my footsteps and lightened my weight. It was as I rounded the corner of a side street in Berrow that I sawhim. Huddled within a cloak, just like I was.

“Kayne?” I said, wading through the shadows into the alleyway. “Problems sleeping again?”

The Hunter didn’t seem surprised to see me. He drew back his hood and exposed the grimace that always seemed to be plastered across his freckled face when presented with me. “Sleep hasn’t been kind to either of us recently, has it?”

Something about his words cut me deep.

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