“Tomorrow, I want a plan.” I sat up, knuckles paling as I gripped the neck of the bottle harder. “Decisions need to be made. We are still steps behind Aldrick, constantly racing to catch him but finding out we are still miles away. I don’t think it is right that we wait. The time to act is now. Especially because the courts are unsafe, I don’t even know if Seraphine got out the message to her Asps across Wychwood before she was…”
I couldn’t say it. Didn’t need to.
Duncan swallowed hard, the lump in his throat bouncing suggestively. “Then that is what we shall do. But tomorrow. It can wait until then. Just because you are not out there, doesn’t mean your allies are not furthering plans. The world doesn’t stop if you do, Robin. For you to be at your best, you need to rest. And this time, promise not to leave me in bed alone.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the dreams I met every night. Should I burden Duncan with yet another reason to hold concern for me, or keep him in the dark, just to lighten his own loads? The choice was easy.
“I promise,” I replied, leaning my forehead to his. “No more parting.”
Duncan’s grin had the power to draw away my worries, if only for a fleeting moment. “Good boy. I’m glad we agree on something.”
“Thank you… for making me give Erix a chance to speak,” I said, before quickly taking yet another swig. This was the largest gulp, so much so that I almost hoped the cruel red liquid choked me. It would have saved me from the path the conversation was about to take.
“I didn’t make you do anything. Only encouraged you on a path that I knew was important you took. Closure isn’t something we all get the chance to take, I didn’t want you to waste such an important moment.” Duncan rubbed both hands from my knee and up my thigh. His fingers gripped slightly as though letting me know he was here and not going anywhere. “It was a blessing he was there.”
“I know, but it still takes a moment to get used to the fact that my old lover saved my new lover from certain death.”
Duncan flinched before me.
“Lover?” Duncan questioned, forcing a grin to hide his reaction. “Is that all I am to you?”
“No,” I replied, shifting forward in my seat to lean into him. The movement made my head spin, revealing that the wine had its desired effect on me. “That title is only one on a very long list I have.”
Duncan exhaled through a smile as he forced himself to stand, using his hands against my thighs as leverage. With one confident swipe, the bottle was no longer in my hands. “I understand a lot has happened between Erix and you. But I think it is healthy for this, and this, to consider forgiving him.” Duncan placed a finger on my forehead before moving it to the space above my heart. His touch left a warmth on me as he pulled away. “There is no good to come from carrying hate-fuelled grudges. Believe me, Robin, look how I turned out.”
Empty-handed, I picked at the loose thread on my trousers. It was that or I’d bite at the already ruined skin around my nails. “I don’t hate Erix. Is that what you wish for me to admit to you?”
“Yes, actually it is.”
I gaped, surprised that was his reply. “Why?”
“Because you are far too important to allow such an emotion to poison you.”
I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to snatch the bottle back. “Erix means… meant a lot to me. Another man would feel he had some sort of possessive territory over letting the one they loved spend time alone with the one they had loved before.”
“Trust,” Duncan answered simply. “I trust you implicitly. Respect. I harbour enough respect in your own decisions and the ability to take care of yourself. My job isn’t to suffocate you but to encourage you to act in your best interests. My upbringing was not like that, so it is my duty to carry those lessons with me for the rest of my life. And my pleasure that you are the one I can do that for.”
Duty and pleasure. Those two words sparked another voice to fill my head.
“You are my duty, and my pleasure.”
The urge to touch Duncan overwhelmed me. I needed to act before Erix and his invading presence completely took me hostage. So, I pushed myself from my seat, knees and body aching from the lack of sleep, and melted into his welcoming embrace. I breathed him in deeply. Sandalwood mixed with the newly added tang of red wine. In the dark that waited when I closed my eyes, I could easily picture the attic room with its mounds of books and discarded, empty glass bottles of holy wine. That was his scent. Familiar and warming.
“Any monstrous past lovers you need to warn me about?” I asked in jest, knowing nothing could be worse than a gryvern. “I can’t be the only one with such heavy baggage.”
“You are and will only ever be the one of importance. The rest, nameless and faceless, were simply means to warm my sheets. There is no one from my past that you need to concern yourself with. Well, except Aldrick, although perhaps we leave him out of our conversation for the rest of the day.”
“Oh, come on,” I pleaded, neck aching as I looked up at him and he down at me. “Not even one scary ex-partner?”
Duncan huffed a laugh, his nose screwing up as he leaned in. “As if Kayne would have let them get that close.”
Mood ruined. It was amazing how a single name could draw me away from the moment. Maybe Duncan noticed my reaction, or it was the sudden lift of my hands leaving his back that exposed it.
“I have arranged for some warmed water to be brought here. There wasn’t much, but enough for you to lie and bathe. You can thank Althea when you next see her. What do you say?”
“Are you suggesting I smell?” I asked, painting my expression in mocked offence.
“We both do,” Duncan replied, voice tempered.