“I don’t think we can. You just mentioned ghosts and stalking, I feel like one of those topics should be thoroughly unpacked.”
“You’re right, but. . .”
“What?”
“Talking about my past is not something I want to do. Not now. Not here with you, after that perfect moment. Not when everything right now is so. . .amazing. I just want to focus on us and our future.”
Now it was her turn to shift uncomfortably. Sighing, she looked away, obviously processing my words.
There was this quietness that hung between us and I hated it.
“I’m sorry, Moni. Never mind. . .ask what you want and I’ll answer.”
“No.” She turned back to me. “I don’t know if I want to hear it.”
“Why not?”
“It might make me jealous.”
“There’s nothing for you to be jealous about.”
“Lei, you sat outside of her bedroom window. Right?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore—”
“You wereabsolutelyin love with her—”
“I didn’t know love until you.” I seared her with my gaze. “I thought I wanted Chanel, but after you. . .I realized that I knew nothing about real love then. And I’m telling you. . .what we have. . .it is everything and more. It is. . .my oxygen now. It is why. . .”
“What?”
“It is why during the tea ceremony. . .I didn’t want to kill my father. I spent a few minutes thinking that I might not. If not for him, I wouldn’t have met you. . .and for that reason alone, I thought about forgiving him for murdering Romeo and Chanel.”
She pursed her lips.
“Because my life was nothing beforeyou. Nothing. Just darkness. Needing. Hoping in a hopeless situation. Fucking stalking and being dragged along so I could be used. Standing out in the cold and wishing someone would love me. Emptiness.” I shook my head. “There’s nothing to be jealous of. That was mypast. You are my present. My future. My everything.”
Moni’s eyes watered.
“Tell me what I have to do to make sure you understand that. What do you need from me?”
“I’ve got it.”
I landed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Anytime you worry about my so-called feelings for Chanel, tell me. I’ll put that to rest.”
Her voice was a soft whisper. “Okay.”
“It’s just you and me, Moni. No one else. It’s just us ruling the East, conquering the world and taking care of your sisters.”
Tears left her eyes.
I brushed them away with the pad of my thumb and licked them.
Sniffling, she chuckled. “What are you doing?”