Page 231 of Sweet Dominion

“The whole time with him you will be on the edge—”

“I know that too.” I sighed. “Honestly, I’m. . .kind of used to maneuvering around his crazy ass. I’ll be fine.”

“Moni. . .you can’t go. . .”

“I have to.”

“No. . .” The tears in his eyes glistened in the dim hallway light and for the first time, I saw the boy behind the Mountain Master. The one who had been shaped by pain and cruelty, but who still had a heart that beat fiercely for the people he loved.

Lei was fighting a war inside himself and it was killing him.

"Lei. . .” I pressed my forehead against his, breathing him in, feeling his warmth, his fear. “I have to go. We won’t let anyone die tonight just because you don’t want me to leave. That would be so selfish and that’s not who you are or who I am.”

He closed his eyes. “What if. . .”

“What?” I backed away from him. “What, Lei?”

“Maybe I should just let Dima and Rose die.”

No. No. No.

The confession sent a terrifying shock through me, freezing the air between us.

It was hard to fucking breathe, but somehow, I managed to do so.

Yet, my eyes widened and I saw the shame flicker across his face and the guilt begin to weigh heavy on his shoulders.

“Lei…” I didn’t know what else to say.

The thought of him even considering letting Dima and Rose die to keep me safe—it rattled me.

It wasn’t who Lei was, but it was a testament to how far he would go for me.

His love wasn’t just fierce.

It was terrifying in its depth.

"No.” I shook my head. “Hell to the no. T-that’s not even an option or. . .just no.”

Lei looked away in shame. “I know. I shouldn’t have said it.”

“No one else dies over me.”

“I know I’m wrong. . .but. . .I’m willing to. . .kill anybody, Moni,” Lei choked out. “Just to keep you safe.”

I could see the torment eating away at him, the internal battle raging inside. He loved me so much that he had been willing to cross a line, to betray everything he stood for, just to keep me at his side.

Fuck.

And I couldn’t let him carry that weight.

I shook my head. “Alright. We are both going to forget that you said that.”

His bottom lip quivered.

“That was one second of a thought, Lei. So. . .you’re not going to feel any guilt. You didn’t let Dima die. That’s what matters. So forget about it.”

Lei blinked and one tear slipped from the corner of his eye, trailing down his cheek. “I love Dima.”