Page 182 of Cruel Devotion

“Well, the whole virginity thing. . .”

“Oh no. You better buckle up for these next days, Moni.”

She winked at me. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Let’s hope you still feel that way after I tie you up.

A wicked grin spread across my face. “Anyway, eventually I came, and they left.”

“Aww. No cuddling with ten women in your bed?”

“They weren’t in there for that.”

“That’s cold.”

“But I want to cuddle with you.”

She bit her bottom lip.

“Tell me something, Moni. Can love be one-sided?”

Monique leaned back in her chair. Her eyes went thoughtful, reflecting the flickering candlelight. “That’s a deep question. I think it can be felt one-sidedly.”

“Hmmm.”

“But true love, the kind that lasts and brings real happiness. . .” She shook her head. “That’s something shared, something reciprocal. At least that’s what I think.”

I absorbed her words. “I always thought love was just about feeling strongly for someone.”

“Explain.”

“With Chanel, it was always me reaching out, me trying to connect, me. . .failing to tell her how much I. . .wanted her. It was never mutual, never a partnership.” My heartbeats picked up. “With you. . .”

“What?”

“This feels fucking different. There’s a balance, a give and take that I’ve never experienced before.”

She watched me and I longed to know what was going on in her mind.

I continued, “But being with you, feeling this. . .connection. It’s fucking electric. Do you feel it too or am I going insane?”

“I feel it.” She bit her bottom lip again.

“This connection. . .it drums in my chest and it gets stronger every damn day.” I sighed.

She put her spoon down.

“And now I’m wondering too. . .if love is more about what you build together, the understanding and respect you have for each other.” I held up my hand. “Granted, I am working on theunderstanding and respect part with you, but. . .am I making sense?”

“Yes.” She smiled.

“So then. . .perhaps. . .I’ve never been in love for my entire life, and maybe I’ve never felt the true beauty of intimacy until you.” I wanted to drown in grief at that thought, but I let the breathtaking view of Moni anchor me. “I want love with you.”

She swallowed.

“What do you want with me?”

“Lei. . .”

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