Page 173 of Cruel Devotion

“Listening to you.”

She looked back at the painting of my mother. “If we’re going to. . .be together then yes you would have to listen to me too. You think that would be challenging, considering the traditions you were raised with?”

“My upbringing was steeped in the idea of the head of the family having the final say.” I pushed through the pressure in my chest and spoke, “But I believe in change, in evolving.”

She smiled at me. “You’re willing to evolve into a nicer Mountain Master?”

“When you’re concerned.”

“And everyone else?”

“They’ll get the same bullying hard-headed ogre.”

Chuckling, she strolled away.

I was at her side fast, taking her soft hand into mine and pulling her closer to my side. “However, I’m not sure how easy it would be to give up some degree of control. You may have to remind me a few times about this conversation in the hall.”

“I damn sure will.” Her smile widened. “When I think ofmyfuture family, I wanteveryoneto feel heard, valued. My husband, but also my kids. I may still tell them to do what I said, but I do at least want to take the time to hear how they feel.”

I studied her.

She really could be my Mountain Mistress.

“Anyway.” She gazed at me. “Lei, you still didn’t answer me about how many kids you want.”

“I’ll have as many as you’ll give me.”

Blushing, she stopped us. “Very funny, but what’s the real answer?”

“Monique. . .” I stepped in front of her. “Ireallyam considering you for the position of Mountain Mistress—”

“We just met—”

“Should I care about that?”

“I. . .well. . .yeah. We’re talking about a big deal. Marriage. Kids.”

“There’s no one else that I would consider.”

“Yeah but that’s only because you had your eyes on someone else for a long time. Now that she is gone, it is a new day with tons and tons of possibilities.”

“My heart doesn’t work that way.” I gazed into her eyes. “You may not believe me, but when I begin to love a woman. . .there is no room for anyone else in my heart, past or present.”

“Yes. . .therestillis someone else in your heart.”

Tension gathered in my shoulders. “For now, and. . .I feel guilty about saying this, but. . .that love for her, if it was love, it’s slowly fading away.”

Monique’s breathing hitched and her lips parted slightly.

“I don’t want to hurt anymore and when I’m with you, nothing hurts. Not my heart or brain, or even my soul.” I touched my chest. “It’s like every time you are with me, you arehealingme.”

“That doesn’t mean we should start having kids together. It may mean that we’re good as friends.” Her hand trembled as she reached out and gently placed it on my hand that was already on my chest.

“Still, I never thought that I would find someone like you. Someone whoseesme.” I took her other hand and pulled hercloser to me. “I had some time to think in these past days as I ran around, searching for her body and feeling. . .ridiculous. . .”

“It wasn’t completely ridiculous. Yan is trying to get in your head.”

“And she did, but even more by the second day, I was tired of searching for the body and mad that I had even stole it in the first place.” I swallowed. “And. . .I fucking hated being away from you. . .”

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