Page 10 of Cruel Devotion

Chen broke the charged silence. “We are not going to talk about that—”

“We saw the despair in his eyes, the emptiness.” Hu sighed. “We all feared that there would be no more Mountain Master.”

I need to get out of here.

I raised my gaze skyward, searching for a distraction.

Earlier there had been two crows, now I sought them out, desperate for any diversion from this gut-wrenching conversation.

But the sky offered no respite. There were no crows, no birds, just an endless blue canvas with the sun, unforgiving and relentless in its brightness.

My thoughts, however much I tried to divert them, veered back to Chanel. The pain of her loss was a smoldering ember, one I had tucked away deep within, fearing the inferno it could unleash if faced head-on.

Now, with Hu’s words echoing in my ears, that ember flared up.

Because it was all true.

I had been willing to throw my life away after avenging her.

Hu spoke, “At least with Monique being here. . .Lei looks like he cares about waking up tomorrow.”

The pain of his words, the brutal honesty of them, forced me to confront the truth that I had been running from.

Yes, I missed Chanel.

I missed her every single day.

And yes, Monique was a balm to that pain. But in this short time, she was becoming more than that too. She was kind, she was understanding, and I cared for her.

But had I been fair to her?

Or was I using her to fill the gaping hole left by Chanel’s absence?

Meanwhile, Duck believed he could treat Monique better.

Could he?

I gritted my teeth, not even wanting to consider that he was right. Then, I leaned into my anger and leveled a finger at Duck. “You say you could love Monique.”

Duck’s voice was steady. “I could.”

“Yet, you let your selfish anger for Banks take your priority off her.” I glared. “Had I been there, I would have chosenher safetyover a hotel lobby fight with Rowe Street Mob.”

Duck said nothing.

“I’m done with anyone questioning my plans with Monique.” I placed my hands in my pockets to calm myself. “And like I said before. . .step the fuck aside until I understand what I really want.”

“And what if she doesn’t want tojustdate you?”

I raised my eyebrows. “What do you mean by that?”

“She is a single woman with choices and the freedom to—”

“You think she wants to date you, Duck?” I had to use all of my energy to keep every ounce of insane anger off my face. “You think if you attempted to woo her, you would have a chance?”

He shifted his weight to his other foot. “I think she’s interested in me too.”

Rage blazed through me but I wouldn’t battle him anymore today. My body ached. My head was spinning with the conflict of my love for Chanel and my new desires for Monique.

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