Page 88 of Justice for Radar

“Yep, you rest now,” he said and sighed. He kissed my forehead and I melted. “You drink any water?” he asked after a moment.

“No,” I said and it sounded small and meek even to me.Wasn’t I supposed to be a bad bitch, though?

“Okay, stay right here, I’ll go get you some.”

“Noooo,” I whined and he chuckled and disentangled himself from me anyway.

“Be right back,” he said and I waited closing my eyes and laying back. The room spinning.

Oof!

He returned and sat me up pressing a tall glass of cold water into my hand. He held the back of my head and neck as I drank and urged me at one point to slow down. I handed the glass to him with an expectant look and he set it on the bedside table.

“Good girl,” he muttered and smiled, glowing from the small praise. A look that changed pretty quick when my stomach rebelled.

“Ope, shit.” He helped me off the bed and I barely made it to the bathroom sink – forget the toilet, sink was closer.

He came in the bathroom, and rubbed my back, held back my hair and muttered, “Damnit Hope…”

I never had anyone take care of me the way he did, cleaning me up, getting me bathed, handing me my toothbrush loaded with paste and wrapping me in a towel. Cuddling me to sleep in the great big bed that had been too expensive when my ex had wanted to buy it and how he’d opened a credit card in my name to do it because he couldn’t open anymore in his.

I cried, embarrassed, a little scared, but Radar just chuckled, called me adorable, and told me to rest… that it would all be there in the morning to deal with just as easy.

“What did I text?” I asked, and he chuckled again and told me not to worry about it.

“In the morning, baby. In the morning.”

* * *

I didn’t wantto deal with it in the morning. Not with the light of day lancing through my head, scorching out my eyeballs, and raking laser beams down the inside of my skull.

Once again, Radar was there, aspirin and water at the ready, and also ready to discuss these texts or whatever…

“Can I read them first?” I asked, and he grinned at me.

“I think you’re gonna have to,” he said and oh, my humiliation was complete. Oh, myGod… they were so…dirty. Talking about cutting things off of me, fucking me against walls and in every hole and I shook my head, flaming vermilion and wanting to just pull the blankets over my head anddiefrom the embarrassment.

“I am so sorry—” I started and his barking laughter stopped me cold.

He shook his head, eye contact boring into me and I felt my mouth go dry.

“Oh, no, baby girl… there’s no take backs on these ones,” he said. “I’ll do everything you asked for and more – what I want to talk about isn’t so much the texts as it is how can I get you to feel comfortable enough to ask me for these things that you want and you needsober?I don’t want to have to get you drunk to find these things out, and ah—” he raised his chin and gave me a warning look when I went to speak. I closed my mouth.

“I really want you tothinkabout these things, I don’t want an answer now.”

“Okay,” I said quietly.

He nodded and said, “Good girl. There’ll be plenty of time for all that kind of shit later. Right now, I’m tired of this fuckin’ place and want to get you home.”

“Me too,” I said.

“Once everybody’s back here, we’ll look at packing up the rest of your shit and making a plan to blow this popsicle stand.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

He came over and kissed my forehead.

“Don’t ever think you have to hide any part of yourself from me for my comfort or anybody else’s,” he murmured. “Those days are over. I’d rather you hurt my feelings and get it out in the open, babe. Now where’s this dress?” he asked.

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