Page 50 of Justice for Radar

“I don’t understand,” she said, jumping slightly as the water rushed over her feet.

“What?” I asked, grinning.

“It’s so warm!” she cried, laughing. “As warm as bathwater!”

I laughed and drew her in with me until we bobbed in the surf, my arms around her, hugging her back to my front. She felt good against me.

“No, I meant what don’t you understand?”

“About the vest, I mean the cut, why are those things important?”

I smiled and told her all about it. About club life, well, as much as I could divulge about it anyway. She was quiet, asked a few questions, and then was silent again to the point I had to turn her in my arms to face me. I smiled at the thoughtful look in her eyes and on her face.

“You make it sound so—”

“So what?”

“I mean,normal,” she said, and she shook her head in confusion. “Like, everything you just described is how it’ssupposedto work, but doesn’t you know? The whole supporting each other and the like. That’s what we’re supposed to do for one another and you’re right,” she huffed out a breath. “A lot of society’s rulesarestupid… I can understand that, too. I mean, I don’t know how many times I tried to reach out for help and there was just‘nothing can be done!’or‘call us when he actually does something’when we were separated, and he was stalking me… It was all so very frustrating.”

I nodded. “I get that. The whole law enforcement being reactionary versus proactive. Like the victim has fewer rights than a perp,” I said. “I have a foot in each world, and I gotta say the further along the road called life I get? I want out of the citizen world altogether. It’s a sham. A farce.”

“Yes,” she agreed emphatically. “It’s always ‘do as I say and not as I do,’ you know? People, especially the ones in any position of power saying one thing and doing something completely different and I’m so sick of it! Sick of feeling and being unsafe just by virtue of I’m a woman and I know so many that were even blamed for their own assaults from a lot of the groups and support groups after and… I’m just so tired.”

I kissed her shoulder and shook my head. “You shouldn’t have to live that way,” I said and as long as I was around? I would ensure she didn’t have to.

I mean, freedom my fucking ass… so many in the citizen world thought they were free and didn’t even recognize the boot on their neck. It was disgusting.

“Even though he’s in prison, I learned very quickly there is no such thing as Justice,” she said soberly.

Talk about a knife to the fucking heart.

“It’s not that way anymore,” I told her, and she scoffed. The sound was a bitter one.

“There were so many times they could have kept him locked up after hitting me and they still let him go early because of overcrowding. Then he did this…” her hand drifted beneath the water to her side.

“He’ll rot,” I said. “And then he’ll burn in hell for it.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe that,” she said sadly, and I knew she was afraid he’d be released; but she didn’t know. She couldn’t know what I had in store. That was part of this life – at least for our club. We didn’t bring our women and children into shit. That’s the way it was for the SHMC, too. That’s why we got along so well. It wasn’t that way for every club out there but that was their fuckin’ malfunction. We minded our own fuckin’ business unless it directly affected us or ours.

Justice was mine now, I knew it, and the guys definitely knew it by default seeing as I was enlisting them to take up for me and her.

It was a lot at once for me; her, the thing with Mariposa, but that’s always how this shit came down. We all had our turns… hell, Pyro was seriously on the rocks with his woman. Had been for a while and he was spiraling hard. Hiding his feelings under a haze of booze and weed.

I liked his girl well enough, but shit had turned toxic in a big way and we all could see it. She didn’t want to have fuck all to do with the club and I didn’t know how he’d honestly lasted this long with her but hey, they’d worked… right up until they didn’t – and I had a feeling the big crash was coming soon, and we’d be on deck for his series of disasters, just like he’d been there for all of ours.

Sometimes you just had to let a brother, or sister, go through it.

Justice and I let the surf suck our woes out to sea to drown, bobbing in the surf, laughing and smiling, enjoying cuddling in the warm water beneath the bright Florida sunshine.

We changed subjects toward plans on how to stay in touch, how we could make the long-distance thing work for the near future, but I already knew – as soon as I could tie up her loose ends and mine, I would make a push to get her moved this way.

I know it was fast, but I also knew from experience –when you know, you know.

16

Justice…

Radar helped me wind the wrap around my waist, ensuring my scars were covered at the back where I couldn’t see them, and I tied things in a knot to secure them. We wandered back up the beach, to the back of Cutter’s house where Pyro and Lightning were manning the grill and we had lunch.

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