Page 45 of Justice for Radar

“That life’s over, baby girl,” he said.

I gave him a crooked smile. “Oh, yeah? How’s that Mr. Confidence?”

“Haven’t quite figured that out yet,” he said, much sobered. “But we will.”

I bit my lips together and said, “I don’t want to get on that plane tomorrow,” I confessed. “I especially don’t want to do it if I’ll never see you again.”

“Hey, don’t,” he said flatly, a hint of warning in his tone that made me meet his eyes which bored into mine. “This isn’t a wham, bam, thank you ma’am,” he said. “No fucking way would I do that to you. You gotta go home tomorrow, I get that, but this isn’t the end, Jussy. This is a new beginning, okay?”

I reached for his hand reflexively and he took it, and the way he looked at me… the emotion radiating from his face… God, it was killing him as much as it was killing me that tomorrow, we would have to let each other go.

“In fact,” he said, handing me my phone off the bedside table. “Put my number in now and give me yours.” He took up his phone and we traded numbers and addresses, and emails, and all the things to ensure we wouldn’t lose each other.

At the end of it, we were laughing a little, and I felt marginally better.

He stopped and looked at me as though committing every detail of this moment to memory before hooking his hand behind my head, smoothing along taut muscles with his thump and pressing his lips to my forehead.

“I’ve got you, girl… and I have no intention of letting you go until a time you tell me to fuck off; and if ever there is that time, no matter how much it hurts? Off, I fuck. No psycho bullshit,” he promised.

I nodded, and I could see the solemn vow in his eyes and etched into every line of his expression and I nodded.

“Thank you,” I murmured, and he nodded.

“I don’t like to tread the previously trodden path,” he said. “And I don’t get jealous psycho bullshit.”

I pressed my lips together, “He was diagnosed with a myriad of issues in prison,” I said with a halfhearted shrug and Radar shook his head.

“Maybe it’s a reason, but it’s not an excuse,” he said.

I nodded. “No, I know…” I trailed off, took a deep breath and let it out. “I know it probably sounds like I’m trying to defend him, but I’m not… really. I guess I’m just trying to rationalize his behavior. Make sense of it, you know? For me.”

“There is no defense for the indefensible,” Radar said gently, and I nodded.

“No, there’s not, and I know that.”

“Okay,” he said with a crooked smile of his own.

“So,” I murmured, taking another swallow of coffee. “It’s my last day…”

“Yep.”

“What did we want to do?” I asked and he smiled.

“I think I’ve got just the thing.”

I raised my eyebrows at the slightly cryptic response, and he grinned.

“But I’m not gonna tell you, instead, I’m going to see if one of the girls has a bikini you can borrow.” He stood up.

“Excuse me?” I asked. “Do what now?”

He chuckled. “Baby, you’re hot, and you’re mine. I want to show you off.”

“Oh, I don’t know—”

“Ah!” He cut me off and gave me a stern look and I just suddenly fell silent, swallowing hard.

“You and Hope look to be about the same size, I’ll start there,” he said.

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