Page 16 of Justice for Radar

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Back is stiff is all,” I answered, pressing my hands to the back of my hips, and leaning back into a stretch.

“All the more reason to get the fuck up out of here for a couple of hours. I’ll see you in the garage,” he said, tapping the doorjamb a couple of times with his fist. It was light, just a couple of taps, something to do with his hands and no doubt done a thousand times without thinking but I suddenly flashed on a different set of hands, scarred with a myriad of small cuts and splits to the knuckles… some of them createdon me…

“You can’t leave me, Jussy. You just can’t. I won’t let you. If I can’t have you, no one can…”

I pasted on a brave smile and said, “I’ll be right out.”

I slung my little purse across my chest, tucked my phone into its pocket and grabbed my little denim jacket to protect my shoulders from the sun. When I stepped down into the garage, and turned, shutting the door behind me, I gave a startled jump and screamed a little as his motorcycle fired up.

I turned with a hand pressed to my chest and Radar grinned at me over his shoulder.

“You’re alright!” he called, and I swallowed hard.

“When you said a ride, I didn’t know you meant…” I waved my hand over the bike, and he laughed.

“Do I need to go change?” I asked and he shook his head.

“We’re not going fast, or far,” he called. “What you got on is just fine. Come here!”

I went over to him, and he pointed out things I needed to know, handed me a helmet, and told me what I needed to do to be a good passenger.

“You ever ride?” he asked, and I shook my head. His grin grew. “Glad I’m your first and there’s a first time for everything. Now, hop on, just like I showed you and mind the pipes!”

I got on the back of his motorcycle, gathering my long skirt as he turned to face forward in case I flashed. I was wearing my cowboy boots, so I wasn’t as concerned with burning an ankle or something on the pipes, but still, I was a little breathless with fear. Especially when he put the bike in motion as we pulled out of the garage. I yipped at the sudden motion and held on as he chuckled, the sound drowned out by the thrum of the engine, but I could feel it through his body, the leather of his vest slick beneath my hands.

The wind whipped loose tendrils of my hair against my face, and I reached down to slip my sunglasses from my purse and over my eyes, squinting under the bright sun. Radar took it slow, and I guess it said something that I was comfortable enough to even do this, but he was sort of something else. A soothing presence but at once outgoing. He had an infectious smile and he and Lucia were clearly close.

There was no screaming, no yelling in his house. There were no harsh words, and no berating. It was refreshing, and it also made me sad for how I’d grown up in some ways which had been all those awful things and more.

I’d taken the first opportunity to leave with Rodney as soon as we were able. We got married pretty much right after he joined the Army at eighteen and we’d lasted a good while until I just couldn’t take things anymore…

I held on to Radar, secretly pleased with my bravery at even thinking I could do this. Rodney would have a conniption if he saw me now, a thought that honestly made my blood run cold, but Rodney wasn’t here. He was in prison and would stay there for a long time and even though I didn’tfeelsafe, because who would after all of that? I knew intellectually, I was. It was kind of nice that Radar would remind me of that fact every so often.

I didn’t think he had a girlfriend, or was with anybody, but after Rodney, and then Billy pretty much right after as soon as I was willing to try again? I didn’t think I should honestly really be trying anymore. Plus, not the best way to meet someone – first impressions and all of that.

Still, he was exceedingly kind over the last several days and this portion of my trip, even though it was through forced extension, was turning out to be more wonderful even than it’d started which was saying something. I mean, the way it’d started had almost been a dream, even if it had ended on sort of a nightmare.

Radar turned us off the boulevard and into the marina’s parking lot, parking us with several other bikes and shutting the motorcycle down. He tapped my knee twice, and I assumed that was the signal to get off, so I did – carefully, and went for the chinstrap on my helmet, handing it over to him and wondering why he hadn’t worn one.

“Thanks,” he said, setting it on the back seat that I had occupied. “You did great. You sure you’ve never ridden before?”

I shook my head and smiled, sort of glowing from the small praise.

“No, I haven’t.”

“You’re a natural,” he declared.

“Thank you,” I said. “What are we doing here?” I looked out over the parking lot and down the broad cement steps leading into the sand.

“Club’s having a party. They’re typical around this time of year – don’t really need an excuse. Just barbecue, and brews, a bonfire or two and chill out. Talk, music, throw a frisbee around or surf. Just something to do when we all could stand to get out.”

I nodded carefully and sighed. “I could definitely stand to get out,” I said. “Thank you for bringing me.”

He smiled at me and lightly knocked his shoulder into my arm and said, “Come on, I’ll make the introductions.”

I followed him to the steps and said, “Wait.” He paused as I sat on one and took off my boots and socks.

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