He dragged my fingertips to his lips and kissed each one in turn, sighing. “No, it’s alright… it’s difficult, a nuanced thing. I defended a man’s choice, they turned as a result.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, laying my head back on his shoulder. He trailed fingertips along every inch of my skin that he could reach and I closed my eyes, relishing the touch – so soothing, so relaxing, so damn arousing.

“He had the choice to live or die. I defended his right to make that choice and when he asked for my help…”

“Oh,” I murmured. Suicide was a sin; I knew that. I guess it only made sense that actively participating somehow or helping someone along… yeah. Fuck me and my curiosity, I thought to myself and Tab laughed outright.

“What?” I demanded.

He looked down at me even as I looked up at him, amused, saying, “You said that out loud, though I suppose if that wasn’t enough, I could try harder to satisfy you.”

I laughed and shivered, craning my neck so I could kiss him below the slow, lazy turn of the heavens. His hand cupped my cheek, and I loved that when he touched me, he did it with such reverence. I felt cherished by him, and it was an incredible, beautiful, feeling.

“I love you,” I murmured.

He smiled, whispering back, “I love you, too.”

He didn’t sleep, at least not often. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen him do it and still have fingers left over. Still, he had taken to lying quietly with me, holding me when I slept, and I couldn’t even begin to express to him just how much that meant to me.

Still, as tired as I was, as comfortable and as good as I felt, I fought sleep. I wanted to talk with him more. I wanted this time to just be with him and be close to him. My need for rest had already robbed us of so much time together when things had been uncertain. So now that I was pretty much the picture of health, I wanted to be a little more stubborn.

“Where will we go from here?” I asked and Tab twisted to kiss my forehead.

“I figured we could ride north, maybe take a road trip through parts of Canada; take in the sights. I confess, I have never quite taken a vacation before, but I find the urge to fulfill my intended purpose has been diminished, or sated for the time being.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Prayers for those who feel trapped or without choice often go to me, and there are some that I cannot deny. It is a calling, and there is rarely ‘time off’ from such pursuits.”

“Except now.”

“Except now,” he murmured, and it sounded troubled.

I cuddled in closer to his side and asked, “Are you enjoying the reprieve or is it bothering you too much to enjoy it?”

“I confess, a little of both.”

“Okay, so where are you needed next? Even if it’s not, like, an impulse or compulsion you can’t ignore, where do you feel like if this vacation were over and it all came rushing back and you had to go somewhere and help someone, who would that someone be and where?”

“A valid question, may I think on it?”

“Absolutely,” I said.

“Good, then stop fighting it and sleep. Tomorrow we’ll have breakfast and ride north. I think, though it is a strange concept, that I would rather like to enjoy my time off with you a little longer.”

“Workaholic,” I accused. “Although, I really like the sound of that. Just so you know, you’re stuck with me. I love you, all of you, and I have absolutely nothing better to do than to help you with your calling as the Angel of Self-Determination.”

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the light patterns and sigils that Tab traced on the skin of my body where his free hands could reach. It was a light, comforting touch that in some spots bordered on tickling. For the most part, they remained a comforting thing and all too soon I was sound asleep. I didn’t open my eyes until the next morning either, and it was the sun glittering off the river and directly into my eyes that finally roused me.

Tab was already up. The bed empty aside from me and one crimson feather edged in black. I picked it up, and spun it between my fingers, smiling. I went to my leather jacket and placed the downy feather in the pocket before standing and giving a long, lean stretch.

I needed a shower. All the best sex left you needing one, and last night had been really good. I took my time and when I got out, I blow dried my hair and did my usual braid over the shoulder. Tab had returned from wherever he’d gone by the time I stepped out into the room. I went to him, wrapped in nothing but a towel, and bent down enough to kiss him where he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Where did you get off to this morning?” I asked, and he pulled me close and down so I straddled his lap. A little hopeful thrill chased down my back but with a gentle smile he sort of squashed it.

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise for you.”

“Hmm, I’m sure I’ll love it but to tell you the truth, I’m starving.”