Page 43 of Apex of the Curve

Fenris chuckled and said, “Not that I was doing it too hard to begin with, but I’ll slow it way down.”

“I mean, why would you want to?” I asked and squeezed my eyes shut and covered my face, hiding my mortification. “Christ, that sounded way worse out loud than it did in my head. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant—” I stopped and lowered my hands and looked at him, face vermillion with shame. “I guess I did mean it like that,” I said miserably. “No reflection on you. You’ve been so wonderful to me.”

He put his hands on the countertop and leaned on them, looking down, not looking at me. He rolled his lips together in careful consideration of what he was going to say next. I shrank in on myself, my appetite suddenly fleeing in the face of my discomfort.

I felt like I was in some kind of trouble.

Fenris looked up at me and sighed.

“Why wouldn’t I want to get involved with you?” he asked.

“I can list a lot more reasons why you shouldn’t than why you should,” I answered quietly, fixing my gaze to my plate, clutching my hands in my lap.

He dragged in a deep breath slowly and let it out in a gusty sigh.

“You’re beautiful,” he said. “You’re sweet, you’re kind, and I know it probably sounds tacky given that you are going what you’re going through, but you’re sexy as hell without even trying.”

I felt my mouth drop open in disbelief.

He searched my face, concern in his bright blue eyes and it was his turn to look resigned.

“I can wait,” he said. “It’s whatever you want; whatever you need right now. And if you gotta friend zone me, I’ll live with it because I may be an asshole, but I’m not a rapey fucker and never will be. Whatever you decide – it’s cool, and I mean that.”

I felt my jaw work, but no sound came out at first, as I didn’t quite know what to say. Finally, what came out was, “Thank you,” but it didn’t seem like enough – not nearly enough in the face of the wellspring of gratitude pouring out of me.

He fixed my gaze with his and nodded after a moment, satisfied with whatever he saw in mine.

“No problem,” he murmured.

“I mean, I don’t think I could friend zone you,” I said, and my blush was back. He smiled slightly, a watered-down echo of the sexy one-sided grin of earlier.

“Just take your time,” he said. “I mean that. I’m good. It’s about you, not me.”

“You are entirely too understanding,” I said, taking another healthy swig of cider before I picked up a rib, sticky with barbecue sauce, off of my plate.

“Not as much as you’d think,” he said with a laugh. “Not typically, anyway. There’s just something about you.” He shrugged as I took a bite, my gaze fixed on his over my mouthful of food.

I had no idea what I had just put in my mouth. The meat didn’t taste like beef or pork. Fenris laughed slightly at the strange look on my face as I tried to identify what I was slowly chewing.

“It’s goat. If you hate it, I completely understand. It can be a bit… I don’t know, musky.”

“No, it’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s good, I promise.”

“You’re sure? ‘Cause if you hate it, I can totally make you a sandwich or something. Fix you something else.”

I smiled and shook my head and said, “It’s fine, I promise. I’m no shrinking violet when it comes to unusual meats. I’ve had my fair share of venison and other game. We’re on a goat farm, goat isn’t that unusual.”

He smiled appreciatively and said, “Still had to tell you what it was.”

I laughed slightly and said, “Shut up!” which made him chuckled harder.

“Good to know you’re a natural blonde.”

I made an indignant noise. “So are you!”

“True, true,” he said, nodding before turning to reach into the fridge for a beer.

I admired the view a little more covertly. The food was helping. I think my sugar was a little low or something. It’d been a while since I’d last eaten. The disconnected fogginess I hadn’t even realized was there in the beginning was dissipating from my head but my tiredness remained; stubbornly I might add.

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