Page 101 of Apex of the Curve

“Oh, for Christ’s sakes,” she muttered irritably and threw up her hands.

“Don’t believe in him,” I said honestly. She rolled her eyes, and I grinned and added, “Better to be a wolf of Odin than a lamb of God.”

She sighed looking tired and shook her head saying, “I can’t argue with you there.”

“There a reason we’re out here and not in there?” I asked.

“Yeah, I just wanted to warn you, she’s had a good cry and the girl’s an ugly crier. Don’t be too hard on her. She really loves you and thought she was doing what was best.”

“Not a chance,” I said. “On either account.”

“Then let me collect my ladies and let us get out of your way,” she said and slipped back in. She left the door open, and I got a view down the worktable at Aspen red faced and sniffling as Marisol stood up and gathered her purse. Little Bird, who was consoling my girl, smiled in my direction and stood up as well.

The three of them cleared out, hugging Aspen in farewell. Before they left out the back door I asked, “You want I should walk you around out front to your car?”

Aspen’s had been the only one out in the back lot, so I had to assume they were parked out front.

“I can let you out the front,” Aspen said, rising.

“Nah, we got it,” Dahlia said, waving us off.

“We’re tough bitches,” Marisol added.

“Holler if you need to,” I said.

“Will do,” Little Bird said with a smile.

The door shut, and it was just me and my girl, and despite the sadness that painted her face in blotchy red and white, making her green eyes stand out all the more. She was beautiful and an absolute sight for sore eyes.

She sniffed, her eyes welling again, and I went to her and pulled her in tight against me, resting my chin on the top of her head and murmuring to her that everything would be alright… and it would. As soon as we talked.

“Come here,” I murmured, hooking a boot under the rung on her chair and pulling it closer. “Sit down,” I said.

She took the seat, her hands never leaving mine as though terrified if she let go, I would leave. I hooked my boot in the chair Little Bird had been in and sit my ass down, and no – I didn’t let go of her, either.

“Talk to me,” I said, steeling myself for whatever would come next. Afraid she was gonna say she couldn’t do it. That she couldn’t hack it in the life and that this was going to be goodbye. I dreaded it. So much. I still needed her to have her say, though. I couldn’t fix it if I didn’t know what was broken.

“I just don’t know that I’m right for you,” she finally said, defeated, and her shoulders dropped and my heart sank.

“Why?” I asked, needing to hear it.

“I’m just not like those other girls. The loud music and all those people. I’m so… boring and I don’t want anyone thinking badly of you for being with someone like me.”

I smiled a little sadly, sighing, weighing my words carefully. I looked at her and I saw a beautiful woman who when she smiled, I couldn’t help but smile myself. When she wept, I fully expected the rain to fall outside, and when she was content, made me content by default. I hated seeing her go through this storm of emotion but I couldn’t fault her for it.

She’d been through so much; too much, and the way she’d been brought up? The piece of work her mother had been, always criticizing, nothing ever having been good enough, that was a lifetime of indoctrination and conditioning to work through in the short time we’d been together.

While she wasn’t weak; far from it in fact, she had her weaknesses and thinking badly of herself? Going to the first negative foregone conclusion in any given scenario where she was concerned? That was part of a conditioned response that would take another lifetime to eradicate.

And the only way to do that? Patience. Consistent love, commitment, and care. Talking it out when shit like this went wrong. There were no shortcuts. There was no end run to be made around it. This was part of who she was, and none of the flaws she imagined she carried was in fact true.

Being blind to her wonder and her worth? That was her greatest flaw, and a deeply ingrained one at that.

“First of all,” I said gently, “your biggest mistake here is thinking I give a fuck what anyone else thinks. The only one you gotta impress is me, and you’ve already done that in spades.” I raised the back of her hand to my lips and pressed a kiss to it.

“Second of all,” I continued, “the only person who thinks you can’t be trusted, or that you’re boring, or what the fuck ever, doesn’t even know you. To be honest, I don’t think he even deserves a chance. The flaw in the design here is that he didn’t give you one. He’s acting more like a citizen than you are being all judgy and shit. That ain’t supposed to be what we’re about.”

She sat mutely, staring into my eyes, the wheels in that pretty little head of her’s turning, chewing through what I was saying.

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