Page 79 of A Brother's Secret

“Yeah, fine. Random cold shiver.”

“It’s in the 70’s out here and we’re in front of a fire,” he said flatly. I hung my head, and he took a pull from his beer. “Come on, let’s go somewhere we cantalk.”

Well, I wasn’t getting out of this one, but granted I wasn’t trying very hard to either. He led me away from the fire and away from his brothers over to a copse of trees near the fence line. They made a triangular clearing and there were three hammocks set up over here. The bough of one of the trees hung low enough to screen us from view of the fire and everyone else, giving us the illusion of privacy. I took a drink of my own beer and let the sudsy, hoppy goodness go down smooth.

“Spill,” he ordered teasingly and sat down in one of the hammocks, boots planted firmly on the ground so he could swing back and forth a little. I joined him, and we sat under the dim, deepening twilight, rocking back and forth, sipping our beers.

“I just had a rude thought back there is all,” I told him, suddenly worried that if I told him, it would hurt his feelings.

“Yeah, aboutwhat?”

“I was just letting my train of thought steam on, wondering about working for your friends…”

He interrupted me gently, “Mali, they’re your friends, too.”

“I know,” I said blushing faintly. God, what kind of an asshole was I? The kind that doesn’t let anyone into your circle and guards it like Fort Knox, my sarcastic self answered.

I let out a frustrated exhale and pursed my lips, Kyle just patiently waited me out. I finally rushed it out, like ripping a Band-Aid off, “I weighed whether or not it was a good option to go there in case I had to make a quick exit again.”

He nodded slowly, “I see, and what did you come upwith?”

I looked up at him like he’d grown a second head, and when he didn’t immediately laugh like he used to, I did what I used to do and crossed my eyes to add to the effect. I got the sought-after laugh, took a deep breath and said, “To be honest, my train of thought derailed rightthen.”

“And now that it’s back on track?”

“I’m pretty sure there were no survivors, dude.” He laughed again and fell silent, taking a drink from his beer and waiting me out again. To be fair, I used the silence to do what he was silently asking me to do… think about it. I mean, really think aboutit.

I was so tired of running and I didn’t have to anymore. I mean, the problem was taken care of. I knew that. I guess it still hadn’t fully sunk in, though. Seventeen years was a long time to be doing any one thing.

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” I muttered.

“They say it takes 19 days for any new habit totake.”

“And to break an oldone?”

“I’d like to think of it as rewriting code,” hesaid.

“Nerd,” I accused.

“Jock,” he shot back, and I smiled.

We were silent for a long time and finally he asked me, “You don’t have to make a decision until you’ve seen the shop, will you at least go and dothat?”

I thought about it and nodded slowly, “Yeah, I’ll do that. You coming withme?”

“If you want meto.”

“Yeah, Ido.”

“Then I’ll go withyou.”

More silence, the urge to say something growing in me like a soap bubble on the surface of the water. Growing and growing until it finally burst and the words rushed out, “I’m not going anywhere, you know that right?”

His expression said it all, that no, he really didn’t know that and I guess I only had myself to blame. I mean, I was nothing if not predictable and I was gypsy stock. The nomadiest of the nomads, born with wandering souls… except that must have skipped right over me because all I ever wanted was to put down roots. You had roots, you grew strong. I looked up into the trees and wistfully wished we were under our tree. I was half afraid to ask about it, seeing as it's probably been cut down or something.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“That shit’s at least a nickel now if you account for inflation.”

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