Page 73 of A Brother's Secret

He got into the fridge and microwaved a couple of plates. Midway through the second plate, the aroma reached me. I blinked and sat up a little straighter as he grabbed napkins and silverware and brought the two platesover.

“Made it special for you. Found her recipe for it after shedied…”

“Mom’s Mac and Cheese.” My vision blurred and I looked at him and sniffed. “Fuck you,” I said savagely and he laughed and came around, kneeling by my chair and gathering me up while I broke down in fucking girly-assedsobs.

So many things came swarming out of the dark place I kept them and it was like I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t want to feel all of this mess, but I couldn’t stop it. I felt pitched into a storm-swept sea and I was drowning in the black, but then there was Kyle. He was a rock to cling to as the tides ripped at me and tried to drag me into their undertow.

“I’ve got you, baby. It’s okay,” he murmured and I believed him. I trusted him implicitly and knew that if anybody had my back in this life or the next, it washim.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you!” I cried and it was true. It killed me that his parents, who might as well have been mine for all they looked after me when my dad was off scheming, had died and I had missed it. I had missed being there for him. Of course, it was also news to me and hadn’t been something I’d had a lot of time to process. Even when I was down in Florida, I think I’d had myself fooled some. Was living in denial. There was no denial to be had, sitting here in ‘Mom’s kitchen, without her init.

“It’s all right, I look at it this way. I needed to get over it, come to terms with it, so when it was your turn like it is now, I could be strong for you. It’s all good, baby. Trust me, it’s all good. You’re home, with me, and that’s all that mattersnow.”

Leave it to Mr. Rational to have an answer for fucking everything. His words should have made me feel better, and they did, so why did I feel like I dropped like a stone further into the depths of despair?

---