Page 53 of Between Brothers

“Because I’m not blind, Blue. I watch the way he treats you. The way he treats everybody and something has always felt a little off about him.” I was silent for a time, just enjoying the warmth and feel of his hard body against mine.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” I said. “Letting myself believe… or the fact that I genuinely liked everything he did to me up until the end.”

“What did he do?”

I swallowed hard and because it was Blue, I told him. All of it.

“Shit,” he sighed and held me close. “Fuck, would it really have been so hard for him to give you ten fucking minutes?”

“I don’t want him to do anything that he’s not comfortable doing.”

“Hayley, no… that’s honestly not how things work.”

“Well then help me understand, Blue! How is this supposed to work?”

“We should all be getting what we need.”

“And what do you need?”

“You. I need you, I need this, and I don’t want to lose you, or Cell, but I don’t want any of us to get hurt in the process. Dammit.”

A long time later, each of us having been lost in our thoughts, I said, “This is some kind of a mess isn’t it?”

“Yeah, and it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have – ”

“Oh, hush. I’m hurting right now, but I’m glad you did. I needed you two as much as I think you needed me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I never would have rejoined the land of the living and regular people if it hadn’t been for you. Just… I guess, I knew this wouldn’t be easy but I didn’t anticipate this being the problem. I expected it to come from the outside, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Has he always been like that?”

“Yes.”

I pulled myself closer to Blue and sighed. “Why? Do you know?”

“Yes.”

“Can you fill me in?”

“I would love to, but I’m not sure that’s my story to tell.”

“I can understand that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.” In fact, it was a pretty bitter pill, but I didn’t want Blue to feel any worse than I already could tell he did. We talked more, but eventually lapsed back into comfortable silence.

I woke up in the middle of the night, Blue sleeping soundly beside me, still wrapped up warm in his embrace and it gave me some more time to think about things, alone and without distractions.

I believed it was too late for me, when it came to Blue. I was already past the point of no return when it came to falling in love with him. I could tell by how he was still here, taking care of me and making sure I was okay, that he loved me, too.

That was worth putting up with a certain amount of, excuse my French but, bullshit from Cell. I could tell they were inextricably linked by something. Past experiences, bonded through events I couldn’t begin to understand. I also couldn’t deny that Cell could be charming and that he was far more charming than not when it came to me.

That didn’t mean he was going to get a free pass on his behavior and that also didn’t mean I would excuse any future bad behavior from him towards either me, or Blue. There needed to be some form of compromise and some way to achieve that compromise. I didn’t and couldn’t expect them to bend around me and me alone. I needed to understand and do some bending of my own. Fair is fair in such an unfair world.

I sighed and it must have been too heavy, because Blue jolted awake. He looked down at me and I looked up at him, his hand automatically coming up and leaving a light caress alongside my face. I pushed up and leaned forward, putting my mouth to his. He held me, hand holding my face, tucking my hair behind my ear while our tongues danced, sliding against one another expressing everything that needed to be said without forming words.

His hands flowed down my body, over my breasts until he could reach the hem of my cami. I straddled his hips, painfully aware of the thin layers of cloth between us, rubbing myself up and down his hard length.

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