Page 23 of The Lineman

I scowled. “You all need hobbies.”

“Youareour hobby, precious.” Matty batted his eyelashes. “Now talk.”

I sighed. “Fine. His dog humped my leg.”

There was a moment of absolute, perfect silence.

Then, chaos.

Sisi wheezed, gripping the table like she was about to collapse. Matty’s mouth fell open before he broke into full hysterics, smacking the table as tears formed in his eyes. Omar, always the most composed, simply pressed a hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“Oh . . . my . . . Gawd.” Matty wiped his eyes. “That’s the greatest love story ever told.”

“I adore this dog,” Sisi managed between cackles. “Like, deeply.”

“I hate all of you,” I muttered.

“You cannot hate me. I’m British,” Omar stated as though reading a particularly funny obituary. Then, still smirking, asked, “How did Mike react?”

“He was mortified.”

“Big word, big guy,” Sisi teased.

Matty sighed dreamily. “I bet he was blushing. Was he blushing?”

I thought back to Mike’s wide eyes, the frantic way he had scrambled to pull his dog away, the bright flush on his face.

I cleared my throat. “Yeah.”

Matty clutched his chest. “A blushy English teacher? Who owns an unhinged dog? Elliot, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to you. When’s the wedding? I need to start shopping for clothes. All I have is the outfit I wore to Gavin and Blaine’s ceremony, and I can’t possibly be caught dead in the same thing twice. Sisi, we need a shopping trip, stat!”

“On it. This weekend. A day of shopping and white wine, not necessarily in that order.” Sisi nodded, then refocused on me. “This is almost as good as the time that guy at the hardware store called you big man and you got all weird about it.”

I scowled. “We’renotbringing that up again.”

“Oh, but we must,” Matty said, giggling into his cocktail.

Omar, ever the instigator, ignored Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum and asked, “So . . . have you asked him out yet?”

My silence was answer enough.

“Oh . . . my . . . Gawd!” Matty gasped dramatically as his hand flew to his chest. “You have!”

“Elliot. Jessica. Rabbit. Hart.” Sisi’s jaw dropped. “You have to be kidding.OurElliot? Actually made a move? This is history in the making.”

“The end of an era,” Matty proclaimed.

“Perhaps the beginning of one.” Omar nodded approvingly.

Matty leaned in, eyes sparkling with pure chaos. “Tell. Us.Everything. Start with the pooch splooge.”

“Gross, Matty.” Sisi scowled.

“There was no splooge,” I growled.

“Thank goodness,” Sisi said.

“Fine, humping. Start there,” Matty corrected.

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