Page 55 of The Himbo and the Lord

He looks at me from under his dark lashes. Did I just tell him I love him? Do I? I feel so much, none of it I’ve ever experienced before. I push on before I can explore what I’ve just said.

“Since you’ve been here, these dates have been magical, and when I’m with you, Iamme.”

I swallow, trying to gather my thoughts for how to explain it.

“All of these feelings, these times with you are here.” I knock my fist against my chest. “But they feel like they’re in a box, and around it is also me, but the me I’ve been for the last twenty-eight years. The son of my father, the heir to Harrington Investments, the Cardew estate, and the title of Lord Harrington. It’s what I’ve been conditioned into being my whole life. It’s my duty.”

“But do you want it?” Nate asks softly.

It’s a fair question and it deserves a fair answer, but I can’t give it.

“My future has been mapped out for me since before I could walk. It’s what we are bred to be. I can’t contemplate what a different life would look like. And that’s what scares me the most.”

Nate stays quiet for a few minutes before responding.

“I think that’s the most honest you’ve ever been with me. I can’t say I like it, but I can sort of understand it.”

He raises our joined hands and places a kiss on each of my knuckles. My heart nearly bursts out of its box, until I stuff it back in again, not daring to let it overtake me.

“I don’t have the answers, Ru, because it’s your life. But I promise I can help you figure out the future you want. Because I’d like you to be a part of mine.”

I press my lips together to stop them wobbling. No one’s ever made a promise like that to me before. No one’s ever tried to understand what it’s been like, what itislike for me. I’m unable to speak, but thankfully I don’t have to, because he leans forward and touches his lips to mine softly. It’s a gentle kiss, one that has me reaching up and holding his face. It’s not the searing, hot as fuck kisses we normally share. This is different. It feels special, and within it I feel a small spark of hope that I might be able to figure it all out, and a warm glow spreads that I don’t have to do it alone.

“Thank you,” I say when we eventually part, It seems to be my most common phrase with Nate right now, but I have a lot to thank him for.

“Now, are we going to watch this film I’ve prepared for you?” Nate says with a grin and tilts his head towards the huge projector screen.

“What film is it?”

I’m suddenly curious about his choice.

“Sleepless in Seattle,” he announces, and I chuckle. He never ceases to surprise me.

“You don’t like it?” he asks with a frown.

“I love it, but I was kind of expecting something likeAnt-Man.”

“That’s outrageous. I mean, there is a place forAnt-Man, but not now, and I’m a connoisseur of all the romantic greats.Pretty Woman,The Holiday,Love Actually...”

“Ooh, I love that one too.”

“But it’s a Christmas movie so we can’t watch it now.”

“Wait? Are you one of those people who can only watch Christmas films at Christmas?”

He gives me a look as if I’ve said the most scandalous thing ever.

I settle down on the pillows.

“Okay, we can watchLove Actuallyat Christmas time.”

As Nate points his remote at the projector and settles down next to me, I realise I’ve actually spoken about a future time, and with Nate. I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. Maybe I can make it happen.

I knowSleepless in Seattlewell, so much that I don’t have to follow it exactly. And it appears Nate doesn’t either. We started watching it and then Nate poured some wine. Then feeding ourselves popcorn turned into feeding each other popcorn and then me sucking the buttery taste from his fingers and then from his lips, and I don’t think I remember seeing much of the second half of the film. As the closing credits roll Nate is lying half on me. He pulls back from a particularly long kiss and says in a husky, breathless voice.

“Will you come back to my place?”

“Yes.”

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