Page 54 of Problematic Summer Romance

The breakfast roomis at full capacity, the table as richly loaded as yesterday morning—except this time there’s a dozen of us eating.

“Nice to see that people are recovering,” I say, pouring myself some freshly squeezed orange juice.

“I don’t know.” Tamryn shrugs. “I miss feeling one with the plumbing system. The sense of belonging that came with it.”

“Really made me reconnect with my spirituality,” Nyota agrees.

I sneak a piece of bread to Tiny and wait for my breakfast, taking in the various conversations flowing around me. It’s a first, seeing the entire wedding party together in the light, and I cannot help noticing that these twelve disparate people Rue and Eli put together, all seem to get along.

More than that: theylikeeach other. Paul is showing Avery pictures of his garden; Diego, Minami, and Sul are bonding over a video game that involves elf-fucking. Rue laughs with Tisha, and doesnotlook like she’d rather be elsewhere.

“What are you thinking?” Nyota asks me, slathering a fresh croissant with butter.

“Not much. Just having a bit of a take-stock-of-your-life moment.”

“How so?”

“I was thinking that if I were to get married tomorrow, I wouldn’t have this many friends to invite.”

Tamryn laughs. “I bet you have tons of friends.”

Maybe, by certain metrics. I’m not shy or introverted. But I lost most of my college friend group when I refused to be more gracious about Alfie and Georgia, and while I’ll never stop missing Rose, I’ve come to accept that our falling-out was inevitable. When I returned to Austin I reconnected with high school friends, and I love them dearly, but in the years I was gone we grew in different directions. The one person I can always count on is Jade. We’ve been close since our figure-skating days, and even though we fell off while I was in Edinburgh, she never seems to hold it against me. Sometimes we fight, but we always get over ourselves. She is what Minami and Conor are for Eli: My ride or die. The one I’d do an airport run for. The one I’d drop everything for if she asked me to be there, whether it’s to help her bury a body, or to be her witness when she elopes with…a toadstool, probably.

She’s a weirdo, but she’smyweirdo.

“Aren’t you surrounded by hot physics nerds of all genders?” Nyota asks. “I like to picture you kids having fun. Doing lines. Playing D&D until dawn.”

Tamryn seems interested. “Whatarephysicists like? Do they wear several layers of T-shirts?”

“Sometimes. And they’re…” I cast a glance around the room, looking for a good descriptor. Conor is near the entrance, talkingwith Eli in low tones. My brother’s hand is on his shoulder. They’re both smiling.

Nyota’s eyebrow lifts. “Pleasant? Sex gods? Smelly?”

“Very competitive. Driven. Know exactly what they want.”

“So do you, Miss Young Investigator Award.”

My laugh comes out a little stilted. “Do you never have doubts, Ny? About your professional choice? Being a fancy lawyer?”

“Nah. I’m way too good at it.” She points her knife at me. “Listen, choose MIT. Come to Boston. You’d be an obnoxiously close train ride to New York and to me. We’d hang out every weekend. Being spotted with an academic would considerably lower my social cachet, but I’d take the hit for you.”

“I think you should take that industry position in California.” Tamryn takes a bite off the roundest peach I’ve ever seen. “I used to be in academia, and it fucks with your head.”

“You were?” My words soundrudelysurprised. “Sorry. That came out wrong. Didn’t mean to imply that—”

“I’m too hot to be academically gifted?”

“It does feel highly unfair, now that you mention it.”

She laughs and pats my arm, reassuring. “I was halfway through my PhD in poli-sci.”

“Why did you stop?”

“Oh, you know. Same old story. Was very young, caught the eye of a rich dude, was treated to a couple of steak dinners that cost more than my yearly graduate salary, accepted a hasty marriage proposal despite my many misgivings, spent the following decade in corporate.” She shrugs, and I can’t look away. There is something charming and vulnerable about her. Unique. “When I was your age I made a lot of stupid decisions, mostly out of fear and pressure.”

I sit forward, elbows on the table. Study the crawl of freckles on her cheeks. “Did it feel like it, at the moment? Like you were making the wrong choice?”

“Funny you should ask, because…Yeah. A little. This nagging feeling that…it didn’t feel natural, if you get my meaning. It’s so easy to mess up, if you’re not listening to yourself. But don’t worry about it. You’re doing great.” Her expression clears, and she leans closer. “Sorry, I…we just met, and I shouldn’t speak like I know you. But Conor told me a lot about you.”

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