Page 25 of Problematic Summer Romance

“We used to be able to have conversations without provoking each other,” he says after a pause.

“Oh, I remember. Doyou?”

A hollow laugh, barely exhaled. “Maya…thisishappening.”

“What is?”

“You and I. Here, together. For a week. After that, maybe you’re going to be working for Sanchez in California. Maybe you’ll takethe MIT position. Either way, you’ll no longer be in Europe. We’ll meet again and again, and we’ll need to find a way to coexist during occasions like this one, because none of the people Eli surrounds himself with are stupid.”

Across the garden, Axel is still arguing with Lucrezia, waving his bottle like a flag, somehow breaking the language barrier. “Almost none,” Conor amends.

The long, amused look we exchange is like a well-beaten path, and brings me back tobefore.

I’m still the same,Conor,I think.How changed are you?

“What you overheard about Avery and me…I’m sorry, Maya. I can understand that it would be upsetting, that someone you used to think you cared about…That I would come to your brother’s wedding to be with someone else. In front of you.”

Laughter rises from the table. I feel heavy, but empty. “They’re very sure that you are perfect for each other,” I say softly.

“They?”

“Minami.”

“Minami just wants me to be paired up and happy.”

“And Sul.”

He snorts. “Sul hasn’t had an original opinion since he met Minami.”

“Eli does, too. And Tisha.”

“Hmm.” He seems indifferent. “Thank god for Rue, who couldn’t give less of a fuck.”

I smile. He does, too. “Do you still like her?” I ask after a minute.

“I do. I like that she’s made Eli happier than he’s ever been. Mostly, I like that she doesn’t give a shit about what I think of her.”

God. She would love this answer. “So, are you going to sleep with her?”

“Rue?”

I almost choke on my saliva. “Avery.” A pause. “Or Tamryn.”

It’s none of my business, and I have no right to ask. But this is Conor, and I wish I could file a Freedom of Information Act request.

He sighs, suddenly tired. “It doesn’t matter, Maya. It doesn’t matter if I sleep with Avery, with Lucrezia, or with that lemon tree over there. That’s not going to affect the fact that I am not going to sleep withyou.” I wish he was trying to hurt me. But the way he says it is so devastatinglykind, it paralyzes me.

“I…you’re getting a call,” I say, pointing to the phone at his side.

He reaches for it, but only to turn it facedown. “It’s been a long while. Can we move past what happened?”

“Nothinghas happened between us.” He made sure of it.

“Precisely.” A deep breath. “I want the best for you.”

And I wantyou, I forbid myself from saying. Instead I study Kaede’s bent head, the deep concentration with which she plays, and go with the truth. “I don’t know how to act around you.”

He laughs. “I take full responsibility for that. I should have known better than to let it all become so…”

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