Page 76 of A Hard Sell

“As long as you need.”

So he told Thomas all about theSay HiHorror, right there on the sidewalk. Thomas listened, his attention not leaving Luka’s face for a second. A few brown curls escaped Thomas’ bun and blew in the wind, but he didn’t even break his concentration to brush them off his face.

“I know it’s stupid, but…” Luka scuffed his toe at a mark on the pavement. “It scarred me for life. I can’t perform in front of groups. I just can’t. Singing to even just my friends is…” He shook his head “Really, really hard. Even karaoke, drunk at a party with people I know… I only did it because I didn’t want Morgan to sing with you.” He gave an abashed chuckle, still looking at his feet.

“Luka…” Thomas took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you at all.”

“You didn’t pressure me. Honestly, the way you believed in me was the one thing that got me in the door.”

Thomas was silent for another moment. “Well, maybe you can go back in there. Because I just think the world needs to hear your songs. And I’d love to come and watch. I know you feel like that would be harder, but…maybe you need a friend there.”

Luka’s eyes watered in the wind. “I don’t think I can…”

“I know you can.”

Luka bit his lip, looking up at Thomas.

Thomas reached out and took Luka’s hand, his grip almost hot in the cool air. “I’ll be there with you. No matter what.”

* * * *

“You’re late,” Clipboard Guy said matter-of-factly as he checked off Luka’s name with a small, efficient stroke.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I got a bit…stuck. But I’m ready now.”

“Good, cause you’re up next. You can leave your stuff in the manager’s office, just down that hall.” He pointed before he looked at his watch. “Better hurry. She’s got one song left.”

Luka turned to face Thomas again. The noise was a little fuzzy in his ears. His stomach flip-flopped. ‘I can’t’was on his tongue again, ready to spill out.

Thomas put a warm, reassuring, hand on his forearm. “I’m going to find a seat. I’m right here. You can do this. And, you know, when in doubt, you can always playThe Brutality In My Eyes and the Deluge Of His Nefarious Vengeance.”

A giggle escaped Luka, despite himself. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in my back pocket.” Thomas squeezed his forearm again before Luka turned to find the office. He tried to move quickly without too much thinking.Open door, take off jacket, pull out guitar, find pick. Check. He had done all of those things a million times before. He put the guitar strap over his shoulder and strummed a few chords.A minor, C, G… Breathe.

He stepped back into the hallway and made his way toward the crowd. A petite blonde woman was finishing up her song, a bouncy folk-rock piece, and the applause swelled as her last chord snapped to a finish. Luka tried to peek around the corner to find Thomas but he couldn’t see his head sticking up over the crowd anywhere.

Clipboard Guy bounded up onto the stage. “Let’s hear it again for Lottie!” She got a few whistles this time as she smiled and bobbed her head. She hopped off the stage and came over to Luka, flushed and smiling. “Good crowd tonight,” she said as she passed. “Have fun!”

“Yeah…” His heart threatened to pound straight through his ribcage as he stepped up onto the tiny stage. It wasn’t even a stage, more of a platform. He looked out over the crowd and saw nothing but junior high students, unsmiling hard faces. Everything in him screamed to bolt, an invisible force tugging him toward the door. But his eyes continued to sweep, frantic, until there was Thomas at a small table toward the back. His jacket and tie were gone, the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons undone on his shirt.

Thomas’ gaze found his. Luka was flooded with warm, honey-colored sunshine. It smoothed out the rough edges in his stomach, dissolved away the line pulling him toward the door.

“Please give an extra special Jitters welcome to a first-timer, Luka Moreno!”

The applause washed over him, adding to the warmth. But he just watched Thomas, who was not looking away. He plucked the first note ofI’ve Just Seen a Facethen the next, and the next, settling into the slower, softer version he had done at Thanksgiving. Now his fingers were moving on their own. He sang to Thomas, who was still looking at him, still a beam of sunshine.

Luka tried to tear his eyes away, flick them around the room, but they kept finding their way back to his anchor, his safe space. And Thomas was always looking back…looking at him like he was the only person in the room. In the world, in fact. As he struck the last chord and the applause swelled around him, it came to him.

I love him.

The realization hit him squarely in his chest, his lungs emptying. Thomas was smiling, clapping for all he was worth, looking so goddamn proud of him. Luka swallowed, desperately sucking in air.Oh, shit. I love him. I am in love with him.

“Thank you,” he said to the crowd, hoping they didn’t hear the crack in his voice. The world was tilting sideways, toward Thomas Badgley. With apologies to Fleetwood Mac and Clipboard Guy, he changed his mind about his second song.

“This next song is one I wrote. It’s calledCould I?” He began to play.

“Could I be here

With you?

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