Page 79 of Boss Me

“You should talk to him.” He brushed past me on his way to the coffee pot. His stiff shoulders belied his casual words.

My stomach knotted. I didn’t like this stony version of Ben. I caught his hand. “What is it?”

He was silent so long I thought he wouldn’t answer. But after he poured himself a cup and lightened it with milk and sugar, he took my hand and led me to the sofa.

“How long have you been in love with him?” He didn’t look at me when he asked, just stared out across the pool at the beach.

“What? I’m not—”

He turned, and a sad smile turned his mouth down in the center but up at the corners. “Of course you are. Anyone who’s paid attention can see it. Too bad Jackson never does.”

“Now wait a minute.” My shoulders curled back, conditioned by too many years of defending my best friend.

“Don’t get your hackles up. It’s a fact. Jackson is too caught up in himself to ever think about you and what you need. And you’ve let him do it for years.”

He was right. I’d defended Jackson, bullied him to do better, taken up his slack almost since the first day we’d met. But it wasn’t until that last day in my office that I’d ever shown him how it made me feel.

“He’s taking the first step.” Ben tightened his grip on my hand. “You should listen to what he has to say.”

I glanced back at my phone on the counter like it was actually Jackson. “I guess I could apologize.”

Ben waited until I looked back at him. “Or you could hear him out.”

I sucked in a deep breath and sighed it out. “Okay.”

Ben pushed off the sofa. “I’ll go—”

“Stay.” I caught his hand. “It’s not like that. Not anymore. Not for a while. I don’t care about him the way I care about you. Stay. Please.” I wasn’t sure I could do it without him.

He smiled, not sad this time but reassuring. “Okay.” He tugged out of my grip, circled the sofa, and handed me my phone. Then he sat beside me and turned so our knees touched.

The contact slowed my heartbeat. Eased the tingle in my fingertips. My hand didn’t tremble when I hit the redial button and lifted the device to my ear.

“Coop.” My name came out like a sigh, and my heart seized in my chest.

“Hi, Jay. What’s up?”

“Don’t fucking play this like it hasn’t been three weeks since we talked. Are you okay?”

I’d thought I could bullshit my way through this call. I was wrong. “I’m fine.”

“Jamila says Ben’s on the island with you. I’m glad someone’s looking out for you.”

“Jamila called you?” I hadn’t thought she’d rat me out.

“I called her, you asshole. Since you didn’t call me.”

“Look, I’m—”

“No. Listen.” His voice was blunt like the end of a hammer. “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time adjusting to…to everything. And I guess I took advantage of you. Of our friendship. I figured you’d always be available to pick up my slack. But that’s not fair, and I’m sorry.”

My breath stuck in my chest. He’d apologized for a lot, but never for that. “It’s—thanks?” It wasn’t okay. I’d had enough sessions with Dr. Pradhi to know that. But I could accept his apology.

“Yeah?” I could picture him, that hopeful expression on his face.

“Yeah.” Ben laid a hand on my knee, and I covered it.

“Good, because I—I have a favor to ask. A big one.”

---