Page 18 of Work with Me

He’d been so different under the awning that first day. When he’d sneaked that hailstone into his bag for safekeeping like an excited little boy. When he’d gently blotted at the cut on my forehead and pressed that ridiculous bandage against my skin. When he’d looked into my eyes like he cared whether or not I was okay.

Not anymore. If I’d given up and walked out, he’d have thrown a party to celebrate.

“Hey, Alicia, want to go to lunch?” Tyler was already standing, patting his pockets.

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t checked in with the other teams.” I shot a glance at Jackson, who had his headphones on and was clack-clack-clacking away.

“Our treat,” Amit said. “It’s the least we can do since you helped us. We’re going for tacos.”

“Same team, remember. You don’t owe me anything.” Still, I stood. My stomach rumbled.Tacos.

Amit had to take his tacos to go so he could make it back to the office for a senior developers’ meeting. Tyler and I sat on a bench in the shade to eat our lunch.

After scarfing his tacos, Tyler wiped his mouth and balled up his napkin and wrapper. “Alicia, can I ask you a question?”

I set down my taco. “Of course.”

“What’s the deal with—how do I—” He compacted the ball of paper further. “I’m just going to say it, okay?”

I nodded. “This is a safe space. I’ll keep your confidence.”

“Thanks.” He pushed his glasses up his nose. “I’ve been working for Synergy for about six months. They recruited me from another company.” He puffed out his chest. “I’m working at a company founded byJackson Jones.How cool is that?”

Less cool than he’d thought it would be, if his experience was anything like mine.

“And then, three months ago,Jackson himselfcomes here, and I’m assigned to work on his project. I just about shit myself when I found out.”

I’d have probably felt the same when I was a baby programmer. “But it hasn’t turned out the way you’d hoped?”

He slumped. “No. He got here, and he seemed all pissed off, and he told us what to do and then sat at his desk with his headphones on. So we all did, too, but the code didn’t come together. But now you’re here, it already feels better. We’ve got direction. And help when we need it.”

“Thanks for telling me.” A frisson shot down my spine. I was making a difference. I wanted to dance right there on the bench, but I refrained. Tyler looked like he had more to say.

“I’d really like to learn from Jackson, but I don’t know how to get close.”

My internal boogie turned into the freeze. He wanted to learn from Jackson, not from me. It made sense: Jackson was an internationally famous programmer, and I was unknown outside Austin. His words pricked my pride. But last I’d checked, I was still wearing my big-girl panties.

“Keep trying to talk to him. You might wear down his walls eventually. I haven’t known him long enough to really figure him out, but I’ll work on it. If I come up with anything, I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks, Alicia.”

I finished my lunch, and we ambled back to the office. I’d taken off my jacket in the September heat, and after eating chipotle-chicken tacos, I was still too warm to put it back on, even in the air-conditioned building. I draped it over the back of my chair and sat next to Jackson, who, true to form, had his headphones on.

At least he noticed when I sat down, staring for a second at my bare arms before meeting my gaze. His brown eyes were soft, unguarded for a second, the way they’d been before he’d known the cats I’d come in to wrangle were his. Like we really could be a team and not constantly snipe at each other. The tinny squeal of a guitar escaped when he lifted off his headphones.

I wanted to say something friendly. Something that’d keep that softness in his eyes, keep his jaw from hardening. But when I opened my mouth, the words that came out were, “Ready to get started on that new module?” The module he’d selected without discussing it with anyone, including me, the team lead. The cordial smile I’d intended became a grimace.

“I already started it. While you were off doing whatever.” His eyes went flinty, and he waved his hand vaguely at Tyler, at the stairs.

“Okay, then,” I forced out through my clenched jaw. “We can pick up where you left off. Want me to drive again?”

“No, I’ve got this. How about you check the code from yesterday? Or do the cleanup.”

The cleanup? He might as well have asked me to sit quietly in a meeting and take notes while the men talked. I wanted to snap off my earrings and fight him right there in the open workspace. But I couldn’t. My own irritating words echoed in my brain.Don’t rock the boat. Same team.

“Sure.” I didn’t bother to smile this time. If that was how Jackson Jones wanted to play this, we’d do it. As long as we produced good code on time, it didn’t matter how we got there.

Still, as I began to check through yesterday’s code, that burn remained in my belly. Had I just given Jackson Jones room to run me over?

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