Page 101 of Unbound

"Except it's not. I need to know why you're helping me. Why you care about me. Every fucking person in this Academy makes me feel like I’m going mad. They bend over backwards to save my life but nobody will give me a straight answer aboutwhy.I need more than half-answers, Raith. I need the full truth for once."

"Then you're going to be disappointed, Nessa. His voice strains with barely-contained emotion. I'll keep training you. I'll help you survive the Crucible, and when you're eventually strong enough to watch your own back, we can pretend we never met."

"But that's not what I want, Raith. Don't you get that?"

A touch of something finally seems to ignite behind his hard eyes. "Nessa... you don't know what you're dealing with."

"Then. Tell. Me."

"I can't." He hangs his head, shakes it, then looks back up at me. I can see pain in his eyes. Despite all his hard edges, I realize it's actually hurting him to keep these secrets. He wants to tell me, but he really thinks he can't. "It's not that I don't trust you. Okay? Can you at least take that for now and be content? I do trust you. With my fucking life. And even if it makes me a fool, I can't stand the thought of something happening to you. If telling you the truth about me means there's a chance of you getting hurt, then I'm not doing it. Even if you hate me for it."

"Raith..."

He straightens, and I can see a shift in his expression. Topic closed. Conversation over.

"During the Crucible," he says, as if we'd been talking about it all along. "I'll do my best to keep an eye on you and your group. I know Serena and Malakai will have at least a few groups coming after you."

I think about forcing the topic back to his secrets, but I saw the pain in his eyes. Maybe it makes me a fool, but I believe him. I don't think he's keeping secrets to hurt me. I think it's the opposite. Even if it frustrates me to no end, I can at least respect that. For now.

"You'll keep an eye on us? Won't that stop you from having a chance at winning?"

"Fuck the legacies. I don't want their privilege. I have no interest in winning."

I raise an eyebrow. "I heard they get comfier beds, though."

"Comfy beds. Lighter class schedules. Favoritism from Empire.” His lip curls slightly. Yes, they get it all. And the only cost is being a dog on someone's fucking leash. I'll pass."

"That, at least, is something we can both agree on."

"I want you to try to win the Crucible."

I squint at him. "You just said fuck the privileges of being a legacy."

"For me. Malakai wouldn't be able to touch you if you were a legacy. Not even he would dare. Raith's voice drops lower, more intense. They won't admit it aloud, but Confluence protects legacies like they're royalty. Nobody here wants their primal parents and grandparents showing up asking why their child was killed. Honorary legacy or not, you'd be safe if you were one of them."

I fold my arms. "So I'm just some fragile princess you want to protect? Put me in the gilded tower where all the privileges and connections in the world can keep me safe?"

My comment earns a rare smile from Raith. "Fragile princess? Fuck, no. You're deadly, Nessa. You've proven that several times over. But you don't realize what you're up against. This is bigger than Confluence. It's bigger than Malakai and Serena. Becoming a legacy would dramatically improve your chances of surviving to graduate your fifth year."

"Will a siphon care if I'm a legacy or not before it tries to drain me?"

Something dark passes over his eyes. "No. But the training we're doing. That might help you against one of them."

"Typhon could handle one, right?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure. Siphons are extremely powerful. They can summon a kind of void elemental. Its bite can be deadly to elementals, just like a siphon's touch can drain the life of a human. If you find yourself against a siphon, all I want you to think about is running. Do whatever you can to get away."

"And what will you do if you find one?" I hate that part of me is watching and listening to his reaction so closely—that some part of me is actually wondering if Raith is a siphon himself. Even if it feels like a stretch, it would at least explain why he's so adamant that I can't know the truth about him.

"I'll fucking kill it."

The pure venom and hatred in his voice almost convinces me there's no way he's a siphon. That, and his tether with Pyrin. I can’t say for certain, but I’ve never heard of siphons being able to tether elementals in any old stories.

"I've got to get back to the fire tower," Raith says suddenly. "I'm trying to train them up as much as I can before the Crucible."

"Why do they all treat you like some kind of leader? Even the original aspirants seem to look up to you."

He shrugs. "I'm good in a fight. They recognize they can learn from me. It's just survival instincts."