Page 21 of The White Oak Lodge

Nina’s stomach felt icy and strange. Saw them doing what? She didn’t want to ask.

“And I heard a rumor they’re traveling together to South America this summer?” Caitlin offered. “Do you know anything about that?”

Nina forced a smile. “Of course. But as you know, Daniel and I pledged to ourselves and to each other that we’d continue our research long past having children.”

But Daniel hadn’t told Nina anything about this new research trip. He hadn’t mentioned it, nor Angie.

“Oh! He told you?” Caitlin asked.

Nina nodded and smiled and wanted to say something like,don’t believe everything you see.

But she still wasn’t sure what Caitlin had seen or thought she’d seen. She looked into Caitlin’s eyes and tried to be brave, to ask the question she knew needed asking. But instead, she sipped her coffee and said, “Do you have any burn cream? I really got my hand.”

She wanted to leave Caitlin with the impression that nothing was wrong. She wanted to leave the entire campus with the idea that Nina Whitmore Plymouth was handling everything perfectly—that, if her husband was spending any extra time with a young and beautiful grad student, she’d blessed it first.

She didn’t want anything to get in the way of her tenure.

Tenure, she thought,comes first.

Throughout the holidays, Nina didn’t mention to Daniel anything of what Caitlin had said. They ate a decadent Thanksgiving feast at his mother’s house, went Christmas shopping in Manhattan, were guests at numerous holiday parties, and even threw one of their own. Nina thought long and hard about her gifts to Daniel and decided to splurge on a Rolex because she knew he’d always wanted one. When he opened his gift on Christmas morning, he looked so surprised and touched that Nina thought,Caitlin has it all wrong. They kissed by the tree as their children played with their new toys, and Nina thought she’d probably never been happier. Not even when she was a little girl at the White Oak Lodge. Not even when her father gifted her a doll on her eighth birthday and gave it to her in private, telling her not to mention it to her mother. (It was a doll her mother had specifically told her never to ask for because it was really expensive, and Nina didn’t know what it was like to work for a living.)

But spring semester arrived, bringing with it a shimmer of anxiety. Soon, their tenure would either be announced or not announced, and Daniel and Nina were on their best behavior, coming up with elaborate lesson plans, saying hello to alladministrators, and trying to exhibit all the qualities they felt were essential to tenured professors. Nina’s book was released to wide acclaim, and she gave several interviews for magazines that suggested she was on her way to tenure. After each magazine was published, Daniel brooded in his study, clearly jealous of the praise she’d been given, and he sometimes complained about all the work required of him at the university, work that disallowed him from throwing himself completely into his research. But Nina knew how to balance everything a whole lot better than he did.

Nina ran into Angie for the first time in early March. Well, “first time” isn’t quite right since Nina had for sure seen Angie around from time to time, had seen her at the coffee shop, in the offices of the anthropology department, and reading at the library. Always, she’d ignored her, shoving what Caitlin had said into the back alley of her mind. But in March, as Nina turned a corner too quickly and Angie was coming around it the opposite way, they literally ran right into each other and dropped the things in their hands to the ground. Nina immediately burst into nervous laughter. But Angie’s face was pale and strained.

Among Angie’s things, Nina thought she saw something about tribes in Argentina, something about an upcoming research trip.

“Angie, right?” Nina asked, looking Angie in the eye as they gathered up their belongings.

“Yes, Professor,” Angie said. Her voice shook.

“And you’re South American studies, too?”

Angie nodded, looking so much like a nervous child. Nina almost felt bad for her.

Nina didn’t know what to say. In running into Angie like this and looking into her eyes, Nina almost felt as though she’d just heard her confess to what was going on.

Nothing is going on, Nina,she told herself as she hurried away.Focus on what’s in front of you. Focus on tenure. Focus on your beautiful life.

But two weeks later, it was announced that Daniel was to be given tenure and Nina was not. One of the older men on the committee sat Nina down to explain that it wasn’t her year. Nina heard a ringing in her ears and bit her tongue to keep from asking why.

“Of course,” she said over and over again. “These things are tricky. I understand.”

“But we love having you here,” the committeeman explained. “We don’t want you going anywhere.”

“I love it here,” Nina stuttered.

“And of course, now that Daniel has tenure, we can’t imagine you’ll want to go anywhere else!” the committeeman joked.

Nina picked up the kids from school and brought them home. It was a blue-skied day of seventy degrees, and Nina opened all the windows to bring in a soft breeze. She chopped vegetables, trying to keep her mind busy with menial tasks, and listened to a podcast about a woman who’d faked her own death, changed her name, and moved to Paris. She’d left three children and a husband behind. Of it, the woman said, “I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to live.”

Nina fed Will and Fiona dinner and wondered when Daniel was coming home. She’d avoided him at the university, waiting for a call from him that never came. She’d decided, though, that the minute he came through the door, she’d throw her arms around him and celebrate with him. She’d remind him that their successes belonged to one another, that neither would be where they were in their career without the other. But bedtime came and went, and Daniel was still not home.

Nina took a few minutes in the bathroom to cry. When she got out, she found that Caitlin had called her. Nina had begun tothink of Caitlin as the bearer of bad news. She braced herself and called her back.

Caitlin answered the phone in a loud bar. Nina could barely hear her.

“Can you go outside or something?” Nina asked.

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