Page 84 of Rebound

“Most of them,” she says, smiling back, “are surprises to me too. Now, what are you actually doing here, Elijah? If you’ve come to discuss the thing about your mom, please don’t. I think we both said everything we need to.”

There’s a hint of steel to her voice, but I also spot the slight tremor in her hand as she lifts her glass. As usual, she’s trying to appear less human than she actually is. For years, she hid her vulnerability underneath a cold exterior. I might be the right guy for steaming into a room and attacking Vikings, but I haven’t protected her in other ways. The ways that matter. And that realization continues to come like a punch to the gut.

“No, I don’t think we have,” I reply. “And I don’t think there are enough words in the English language for me to apologize with. I might have to start with Spanish.”

She quirks an eyebrow at me. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m more sorry than I can ever fucking say. I’m sorry that I didn’t immediately take you into my arms and apologize for the things my mom said to you. I never doubted that you were telling the truth, Amber, I hate that she said those things. Even more, I hate that you felt like you had to protect me from it when you were hurting yourself. I let you down, and I’m all out of excuses.”

She pales a little and shakes her head. “No. Like I’ve said before, we both made mistakes. I hid things from you. I shut you out. I played a very big part in all of this.”

“Maybe, in the past, yeah—we both made mistakes. But the thing with Freddie? The thing today? That’s all on me, Amber. I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I want you back, more than anything in the whole world. It’s taken all of this for me to understand how much. That being said, I think we needed time apart. I needed to do some serious thinking and sort my shit out. You needed to… Fuck, baby, you need to keep on doing what you’re doing, because it suits you. You’re fucking radiant. I can see you growing and changing and lighting up from the inside. I don’t want to get in the way of that. I don’t want to hold you back. But you need to know that my love for you has never faded. And it never will.”

She bites her lip, and stares at the tabletop. The old Amber would have simply given me the evil eye and said something pointed and sharp that shredded me to pieces. The new Amber? I have no fucking clue.

“What do you want from me, Elijah?” she says quietly, finally looking up with tears in her tawny eyes.

“Everything,” I reply. “And nothing. I think we’re worth fighting for, but I also know that this isn’t the right time to push you. I understand that you still need time.”

She laughs and wipes away the tears. “You think?” The challenge in her eyes is the perfect combination of the old Amber and this new one. “After everything that’s happened, I don’t know if there ever will be a right time to push me. I love you, but I’m also wary of you. You hold so much power over me. I see you, and I want you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to fight for us as well, but I think… I think for now, I need to fight for myself instead. Does that make any sense?”

“It does,” I answer, knowing she’s right but hating every second of this. “I understand. And for now, I accept it. But Amber? This is not me giving up on us. This is me giving us space to breathe. I need to sort things out with my family and to look at the way work has taken over my life. How about we press pause? Really press pause, until next year?”

“Elijah, it’s already December 21.” She smirks. “That’s a lot to fix in ten days.”

“I know, and it’s not a deadline. It’s just… Amber, we’ve loved each other for more than two decades. Surely it’s worth another few days at least. Or longer, if that’s what it takes. Let’s see how we feel in the new year.”

I see the indecision in her eyes, the mix of hope and fear. I put the fear there, and now all I can do is pray that hope wins out. “And you promise you’ll leave me alone until then? No turning up at the door, no suggestive texts, no…uh…”

“Spectacularly hot sex? No tying you up and fucking you? No blindfolds, no torturing those sweet nipples of yours? No orgasms, no spanking…”

She goes bright red, and my cock responds in a predictable fashion. “Elijah! Stop it.”

I grin at her. I could talk her into bed right now. But a deal is a deal, and I fight back the urge. “I promise.”

Her nod is small but firm. “Okay. I agree.” She drags her chair back quickly—she wants to touch me as much as I want to touch her. She was right that night. Fighting and fucking—we’re awesome at both, but we need more than that if we’re going to make it.

She leaves in a cloud of coconut shampoo, and I stay and finish my whiskey. Fuck. I have no clue what’s going to happen between us, but at least it’s not the end.

ChapterForty

AMBER

Imeet Martha for brunch the day after Elijah and I decide to take a real break. She looks sheepish as she waves me over to her table, and neither of us attempts our usual air kiss.

I raise my eyebrows at the coffee mug in her hands. “I know,” she says, grimacing. “There’s not even any vodka in it. Look… I wanted to say I’m sorry. For setting you up like that. I was an asshole, and I regret it.”

I nod and order my own coffee. She looks and sounds genuinely remorseful, and I wonder how much she knows. “What did he tell you about it?” I ask after the waiter leaves.

“That he pitched to you, and you weren’t interested.”

Huh. Well, that is certainly one way to describe it. “And you knew that he was going to, ah, pitch to me?”

“Yes. As soon as the news broke about you and Elijah, he was… God, Amber, he was enraged. He was so angry with me.”

“With you?” I ask, confused.

“Yes, with me. Because we’re friends, and I didn’t warn him that the biggest divorce of the decade was about to hit the headlines. I tried telling him I didn’t know, but that only made it worse. He was… I’ve never seen him so mad. It was like he thought it was his god-given right to represent you, you know? Because we’ve known each other for so long. He was furious and told me I had to make it up to him by arranging that meeting. It sucked, but I was scared, Amber, and as usual, I did what he wanted. I’m sorry.”

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