Page 37 of Rebound

“Really? And what exactly do you have in mind? Want to sneak down a dark alleyway and screw like animals? Maybe you could shove me up against a wall and fuck me from behind.”

“No, that’s not what I had in mind. But hey, if that’s what turns you on, baby, I’ll be happy to oblige.”

She is visibly furious. I’m not sure if she’s angry with me, with Mason, or with herself for showing weakness and crying. This damn woman and all her defenses. The real Amber hides behind so many walls, it’s almost impossible to reach her.

I sigh and close the distance between us. It’s after five, and office buildings are emptying around us. We’re committing a New York crime by blocking the sidewalk, but I couldn’t give less of a fuck. I stroke her tears away, swiping her cheeks clear of mascara. My touch seems to calm her.

“Panda eyes?” she asks quietly.

“Not anymore.” I want to take her in my arms and hold her. To kiss her and tell her I love her. Shit. I’d quite like to take her up on the alleyway idea too. None of it is feasible, though, not in public. She pulls herself together and steps away from me.

“I’m sorry I turned into a prize bitch back there,” she says, biting her plump lower lip. “It’s being around Mason. Being in your office. It’s… I don’t know. My head got all messed up. I didn’t mean to tell you like that, about moving out.”

“That’s okay. I get it. We’re both under pressure. But are you sure, Amber? About the house? It’s yours—you know that, don’t you? For as long as you want it. Forever.”

“That’s the thing, Elijah—I don’t want it. Not anymore. When’s the last happy memory you have of that place? It’s not exactly filled with them.”

I shake my head because she’s right. I’d have to go back a long time to find one. “No, it’s not. And I can see what you mean. Just promise me that you won’t, you know…”

“Move to Queens?” Her lips twitch.

“Yeah. That. Or if you do move to Queens, at least tell me. I’m not trying to control you… but I also can’t just flip a switch and stop caring about you. You’re part of me, and you always will be.”

She nods and wipes her eyes as more tears appear. “I know. Thank you for that.” Her lips curve in a wobbly smile and she takes a small step back. “Look, I’m going to head out. I arranged to see Drake and Amelia for drinks after…” She motions at the Jamestech building. “I had an idea I might need to decompress,”

Her plans are a reminder of how separate our lives have been for so long. I haven’t been invited to drinks with her and Drake in as long as I can remember. And as much as I’d like to go with her now, she needs her space. Plus, truthfully, I need mine. She might have apologized, but I’m still shaken by how easily we both slipped back into our old personas. I love the hell out of her, but I won’t go back to living like that.

“Okay. Well, be careful. Call Sanjay if you need a ride. And call me if anyone bothers you around the house. I mean it.”

Her smile does nothing to hide the sadness in her eyes. “I will, I promise.” She steps up and kisses me briefly on the cheek. “Now you’d better get back to Mason. He needs you.” Her lip wobbles, and for a second I think she’s going to say something else, something profound. But she shakes her head and plasters on a smile I know from years of experience is fake. “No doubt he’s up there putting a price on my head.”

“Nah, Nathan tried that years ago,” I say, forcing a grin. “Nobody would take the job. Even John Wick was scared of you.”

She rolls her eyes and waves goodbye as it starts to rain. I stand in the drizzle, surrounded by office workers heading home for the night, and watch her go.

I glance behind me at the Jamestech building, the place where I spent the majority of the last ten years of my marriage. Mason needs me, she said. Does he need me more than she does? Deep-seated regret gnaws at the pit of my stomach. There must have been a time when she needed me more. And was I there for her when she did? I honestly don’t know.

A few minutes ago, when she swallowed whatever it was she was going to say… Habit kept me from pressuring her tell me, but I should have pushed. Would we be here now if I had pushed more? If I had forced her to confide in me all the times sorrow flashed in those incredible eyes of hers but her icy expression told me not to pry?

She turns the corner a block away, and it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to chase after her and ask.

ChapterEighteen

AMBER

I’m cautious as I approach the James and James offices, my head on a swivel. It’s the end of the workday, and a lot of the staff are leaving. Nathan is unlikely to join the mass exodus, but you never know. My encounter with Mason was bad enough, and Nathan makes him look like a pussycat.

In the before times, when I felt like I was part of the James family, I got along with all the brothers, but Nathan was the most reserved. The most naturally cynical of them all. Elijah and I had a big, flashy wedding, and I remember Nathan looking around at all the ribbons and chintz and chiffon with something akin to amusement. I think even then he had his doubts, and I do rather hate to have proven him right.

I successfully make my way to Drake’s part of the building without any upsetting encounters. I’m early, and Amelia’s workstation outside his office is empty. I knock on the door, announcing myself.

“Come on in,” Drake shouts after a second. “Quick meeting?” he asks when I walk in.

“Yes. We went from civilized to barroom brawl in about sixty seconds.”

He nods sympathetically, and Amelia brings me a coffee from his machine. I stand and look through the window as I sip it. I always forget how magnificent the view is from here. “How are you two doing?”

Amelia blushes slightly, and I notice that Drake’s normally immaculate hair is a little mussed up. Ah. I see. They’re doing very well, thank you.

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