Page 3 of Rebound

He squints his eyes for a moment before responding. “I can’t quite remember what their beef was. Did Rowena steal Olivia’s husband?”

“It was much worse than that. She stole her housekeeper.”

One half of his mouth quirks up in amusement. I love Elijah’s lopsided grin. It’s one of the few things about him that hasn’t changed over the years, and it reminds me of earlier incarnations of our relationship. Maybe that’s why I soften a little and make a mistake. “And how was your night with your family? Is everyone well?”

As soon as the words are out, I regret them. Elijah and I are not what you would call happily married, but we have, in our own way, made this work. Admittedly, it’s more like a business arrangement than a love match these days, but we function as a couple. One of the ways we achieve that harmony is our unspoken agreement to avoid difficult subjects. The biggest and baddest of those taboos is his family. We both pretend they don’t exist for the purpose of our marriage, because talking about them never ends well. For some unknown reason, I opened that particular can of worms, and now they’re crawling all over me. I mentally slap myself and issue a silent Homer Simpson–style “Doh!”

His eyebrow arches as he looks at me, and I get my compact out of my purse and apply fresh lipstick, not because I need to, but because it provides some cover.

“Ah, they were great, thanks for asking,” he says, his tone neutral. “Melanie was there with baby Luke and her little sister, Ashley, who’s working on her MBA at Harvard. She’s a lot like Mel, only bubblier. And Amelia joined us later.”

I snap my compact shut and nod. Drake’s girlfriend is safer ground. I’ve spent quite a bit of time with Amelia, and she really is quite a marvelous human. He was lucky to find the love of his life in his secretary. He is truly happier than I’ve ever seen him. Nathan’s wife, Melanie, I’ve only met once, and our interaction was brief and tense. At least it was tense from my end, as I assumed my darling brother-in-law had told her what a poisonous bitch I am. I didn’t pick up any hostility from her, but I know better than anyone how well women can hide what they really feel.

I’m doing it right now, nodding and smiling in all the right places as he speaks. He tells me about Dalton’s health and Mason’s love life and rambles on about how much Luke resembles Nathan while I give the impression that none of it upsets me at all. I hide the fact that I actually spent last night alone and sad with only my laptop and a bottle of red for company. I pretend it doesn’t bother me that he spends so much time with people who can’t stand me—that he chooses them over me, every time.

It wasn’t always like this, of course.

“That sounds nice,” I reply curtly, hoping he senses how hard this is for me. Praying that we can possibly move on to something less controversial, like politics or religion or whetherDie Hardis a Christmas movie.

He absentmindedly tugs at his tie the way he does when he’s feeling nervous. I reach out and straighten it for him. My fingers brush the skin of his neck, and we both look shocked at the unexpected contact. “There,” I say. “You’re all good. Wouldn’t want you showing me up in public.”

“Heaven forbid,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I was wondering…”

Oh god. Here it comes. I don’t know what exactly, but it will be something unwelcome, I can feel it.

“I was wondering if you’d like to see a picture of Luke?”

Jesus. Is that all? Why did he make it sound like he was going to tell me something terrible? I may not be involved with his family, but I’m not a complete monster.

I nod cautiously, and he pulls out his phone and flicks through the pictures, and I soon realize that it’s not only Luke on there. It’s all of them. The James family en masse, all together in a house I haven’t set foot in for years. It’s strange, seeing the small changes—different color paint on the walls, a new couch, a whole corner full of toys and kid things. Elijah reaches a series of shots of Luke, who’s approaching ten months old. He’s sitting on Nathan’s lap wearing a jack-o-lantern outfit, looking cute as a button. Even the presence of Nathan in the background can’t stop my smile. Elijah scrolls through three or four, each one featuring the baby with a family member. I concentrate on Luke—he can’t help who he’s related to. Eventually, he reaches a picture of him in the arms of a pretty young woman I don’t recognize.

“This is Mel’s sister, Ashley,” he explains. “She’s the one at Harvard. Bright girl.”

Hmmm. Bright and bubbly. And young and gorgeous and more at home with the James family after knowing them for five minutes than I am after two decades.

Good old Ashley. And good old Melanie and good old Dalton and good old Nathan. How lovely for them all.

I know I’m overreacting. That I’m being petty and stupidly jealous. I can’t object to being left out of something I’ve made clear I want no part of. This is what I hate about emotions—they make no sense and they’re impossible to control. I feel sad and angry and also resentful that Elijah hasn’t noticed any of that.

I’m aware that I’m being irrational—I’ve shown zero sign of what I’m feeling on the outside. I’m way too good at hiding what’s going on inside me. It’s like my superpower.

Still, it’s getting more and more difficult to keep calm with every passing moment. With every sweet photo and each adoring comment that comes out of my husband’s mouth. It’s hard for Elijah, managing the two halves of his world, but it’s also hard for me. I wanted so much to be a part of that world too—until I couldn’t any longer. Listening to him now, sounding so happy as he talks about them, only emphasizes how far apart we are. He might be stuck in the middle, but I’m stranded all by myself on the other side, and it’s lonely over here. I want to scream and yell and cry. I want to shout at him: If they’re all so fucking perfect, why don’t you go and live with them instead? Why don’t you find someone new? Why don’t you do what your brothers think you should do and leave? Why not put us both out of our misery and accept that you’d be happier without me?

It’s not like he’s short of offers. He is, after all, disgustingly handsome. Not to mention rich, charming, kind, and in his own way, hilarious. I don’t see that side of him much anymore, but another woman probably would. Amelia and Melanie and Melanie’s precious little sister undoubtedly see more of that side of him than I do. Hell, I’m guessing even the woman who runs the bagel shop on the corner gets to see more of that side of him.

“Look at this one,” he says. “It’s Luke actually walking.” He’s oblivious to the conflict going on inside me even though I’m literally inches away from him. Yes, I am that good. I stare at the phone, falling to pieces even as I make all the right noises. Luke is adorable, and I’m sure he will have a little brother or sister on the way before long. And Drake and Amelia are so in love that I wouldn’t be shocked if they join the parent club before long. Everyone is playing happy families, it seems.

The way Elijah talks about Luke, the way he talks about them all… that’s what he wants too. What he expected to have when we first got together. An affectionate wife, beautiful babies, a home life filled with love and laughter.

Unfortunately for Elijah, he married me. And I haven’t given him any of those things.

“Maybe we could, I don’t know, get together for a drink sometime?” he asks, finally putting the damn phone away. “Me and you, Drake and Amelia. Maybe Maddox. You haven’t seen him since he moved back to the States. Possibly even Mel and Nathan?”

Fuck. Is he for real? Can he hear himself? Does he really think that showing me a few snapshots of a cute baby is going to change anything? How the hell does he think Nathan would react to the idea of a fun night out with me? I suspect he’d rather have his balls tasered.

It’s my own fault. I was weak. I showed an ounce of interest and opened the door to this. Now I need to slam it firmly shut again.

He wants us all to be friends. He sees their happiness and thinks it might still be possible for us. Hell, he wants us all to hold hands and put the past behind us and be besties forever. Deep down, Elijah is a good man who simply wants the important people in his life to get along. Unfortunately, he has no clue how impossible that is for the rest of us. He’s stuck in that no man’s land between the trenches, calling for a ceasefire that will never happen.

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