Page 69 of Made to Love Ya

“Y’all need to get over that bullshit,” Pops demanded and pointed at Rashad and me.

“I think y’all hating on Pops if you ask me,” Jaylen said.

“Ain’t nobody ask you, nigga,” Rashad and I replied simultaneously.

Rashad shook his head and shrugged.

“Your mama and I weren’t as tight as we should have been. I know to y’all, it looked like we had our shit together, and you’re right. Your mama was a good woman. I fucked up on a few occasions.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, and Rashad mugged my father.

“I cheated on your mother three times. She hung on in there the first two times. It happened once when you were just a year old, Rashad. Then it happened again when she was giving birth to you, Zae. She forgave me both times. But that last time…I knew that it was too late. I had been doing good all those years, and we were in a really good place. That last summer that you went to camp, Zae, and Rashad got a job for the summer, I fucked up.”

“How?” Rashad demanded.

“She found out that I was cheating again. It wasn’t just cheating this time, though. It was a full-fledged relationship.”

“With who?” I asked.

“Carney James.”

“Wait. My old babysitter?” I asked in disbelief.

Carney had watched me from the time that I was six until I was ten. When I turned eleven, Rashad and I convinced my parents I could stay home alone whenever Rashad wasn’t there.

“Yeah. We had been involved for almost two years, and Amanda found out when she came home early to surprise me. She knew I was coming off the road. I had gotten home a few hours earlier than she expected, and I thought she would be at work. I had Carney over, and your mom came home and caught us.”

“Fuck! You gotta be shitting me,” Rashad stated.

I had my hand over my face in disbelief, trying to blot out the thought that a babysitter I adored and who Rashad was crushing on had been smashing my pops. I didn’t know who my pops was anymore. All these years, I thought he was a stand-up dude. I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and mugged Pops.

“Nigga, do I even know you?” I asked.

“My point is that when a relationship goes to shits, it’s usually because one person did something wrong. It wasn’t just because it fell apart without any fault. If you’re giving your all to that woman and she’s doing the same, y’all should be just fine. Relationships don’t go to hell for no reason at all. Stop being scared and open your heart up to love that girl the way she deserves to be loved.”

“I do love her the way she deserves.”

“What happened when that love didn’t let you tell her the truth upfront? What happened when she had to learn about you sabotaging her efforts at that job? Why didn’t you ever ask her about the write ups she’d done on that restaurant?”

“What’s that got to do with my love for her?”

“It’s you giving your relationship its best chances for success. It’s you opening the conversation and leading Talia in transparency. It’s you showing her that you trust her, and she can do the same.”

“Well, damn, Pops. When you put it like that…” I mumbled and rubbed the back of my neck. “Honestly, after that Cee-Cee fiasco, I didn’t think our relationship could withstand another hit.”

“No wonder she told me that I was too young. She was screwing an old ass nigga,” Rashad stated.

“Nigga, what?” I questioned and mugged Rashad.

“I tried to get with Carney, and she told me that I wasn’t old enough.” My brother’s brain was still stuck on dumb shit.

“Nigga, when?” I asked.

“The summer when she stopped watching you.”

“Nigga, yo’ ass was what? Fourteen?”

“Still,” Rashad stated and mugged me.

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