Page 49 of Made to Love Ya

“Which wasn’t a denial. That was you trying to justify the closeness you had with her.”

I sighed and dragged my hand down my face as I stirred my beef broccoli soup. Cee-Cee and I were having lunch. I met with her this morning to resume my house hunt. She notified me that a house I had previously been looking at was still on the market for a much lower asking price.

I had originally been in negotiations on that house but pulled back when Talia asked me to stay with her. I loved the house but didn’t mind backing out to build something with my woman.

Cee-Cee made a phone call this morning while I was in her office, and she immediately got an acceptance on the offer I put in on the house. The sellers were motivated and ready to get the property off their hands so they wouldn’t continue carrying two mortgages.

I hadn’t told Talia that I had started my house search again. Neither had I told her that Cee-Cee was my realtor. I had toyed with her about inviting Cee-Cee to go house hunting with me initially because I wanted to see if she was feeling a brother. I just never got around to telling her the truth about Cee-Cee being my realtor.

I knew that I needed to move out after discovering what I had about who she was. When she found out I was responsible for her not getting that job at theBold Beautiful Black Girlmagazine, she would kick my ass out. So, I needed a place to go. And I would have to tell her because there was no way I could continue lying up under her each night and holding her in my arms without telling her the truth. It was killing a nigga.

That lying shit wasn’t in my DNA. I wasn’t that nigga. I never had a reason not to be one hunnid with the folks I loved, and I loved the hell out of that girl.

I felt like an ass for fucking up that job opportunity for her, even though I hadn’t known it was her at the time.

Asante Dillard was the owner of the magazine and someone I had a great business relationship and friendship with. She was the wife of one of my boys from back in the day when I ran the streets.

Kenny Dillard and I stayed in touch long after I got my shit together. He’d been one of the main ones rooting for me to come out the streets and do something with my life. He’d been the first one to do it, then Tahj, and finally me. Three other friends didn’t get it together. One ended up dead, another in prison, and the final one was hooked on drugs himself now.

“I need your opinion on something,” I told Cee-Cee as she wiped her mouth with her napkin.

“What’s that?”

“I inadvertently discovered some information last night that I didn’t need to know. But the information that I discovered has impacted me in the past, and I have some information that directly impacts Talia.”

“And let me guess... You want to tell her because the guilt of not being truthful with her is eating at you.”

“Exactly.”

“What’s the problem with you telling her?”

“She’s going to be angry with me. She’ll probably end the relationship.”

“Damn. It’s that serious?”

“Yeah,” I stated, setting my spoon aside. “I mean, I’ve put a strain on her and Tahj’s relationship. That nigga ain’t even speaking to me because he didn’t want me fucking with her. He was mad at both of us for not telling him upfront.”

“And he has a right to be. We all know how Tahj feels about Talia.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Is he not speaking to her anymore?”

“They made up, but she says there’s still some tension in their relationship.”

“Did you cheat on her?”

“Hell no.”

“Steal from her or lie to her?”

“I didn’t steal from her. But I did lie by omission…once I learned the shit.”

“Then tell her. Run the risk that you might lose her. But trust and have faith that if you two are meant to be, and I believe that you are, it will work itself out.”

I sighed and dragged my hand down my face. Cee-Cee reached across the table and asked, “May I pray with you?”

That was the one thing I adored about her. She was a woman of great faith and believed in the power of prayer. She had prayed for me through several issues through the years.

---