Page 43 of Uncontrolled

He’s hiding something. I’m not naïve enough to act as if he and I have ever had a moment where we didn’t keep secrets from each other, but this is different. I know what lies look like on him. How he closes off in the tiniest increments. Before Talia called last night, he’d wanted to tell me something. “He’s off,” I finish.

“Off as in he’s not doing the dishes when you ask or off as in he’s a villain, romancing you to exploit any trust he gains?”

It would be funny if it wasn’t precisely what happened two weeks ago. It would be funny if I knew for sure.

She waits for me to fill in the details. Her black eyebrow wings upward to spur me on. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my mouth shut. There’s no way Talia’s letting this go without a full explanation. “Spill it,” she says as if to prove my point.

I sip my water to buy time and collect my thoughts. “The last two days he’s been getting text messages,” I say. “The thing is, if I’m around, he ignores them. No reaction. It’s like…” I search for the right words. “You know how little kids think when they close their eyes, it makes them invisible?”

Perplexed, she nods.

“He ignores the texts,” I go on, “and I’m supposed to pretend I don’t notice them either.”

“Okay,” Talia says, stretching out the syllables. “Ploy has friends, true?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I met one of them. From the Boxcar Camp. His name’s LowLow.”

“Not a Kyle in the bunch, huh?” It’s an obvious attempt to break the tension. When it doesn’t work, Talia studies me. “You think he’s seeing someone else?”

“No,” I say instantly. He’s chosen me over and over. In the cabin. In Jamison’s cellar. Why can’t I let this go? How many times will I make him prove himself to me? “Am I being irrational?”

She shrugs. “Does it matter? You’re breaking things off. At least he made it easy on you,” she quips. “He’s perpetually packed.”

Instead of being annoyed or mad, all I feel is dread. “About that,” I say halfheartedly.

“You are ending it, Allie.”

It’s not a question. Talia paws at the new sweat that’s sprouted to drip from her hairline. I say nothing.

“Allie?” she presses.

“I don’t need to end it!” The admission leaves me, scarcely more than breath. “You told me they would scrutinize the three of us if I didn’t step up,” I say, trying not to sound defensive. “I’m stepping up, aren’t I? He and I came to you when he was followed. And last night I helped you with CJ.”

“You came to me! You helped me!” she says in disbelief as she pounds a fist against her chest. “That’s not stepping up. That’s bare minimum involvement!” She sucks a lungful of air and I know we’re in the eye of this hurricane. “Have you dug up anything on the hunters? Have you done a single resurrection alone? Have you reached out to the other clusters in any way? The members of our cluster?”

“No.”

“No,” she repeats.

Before Sarah died, I was done with this life. Now, with no income and no backup plan, I can’t drop it so easily. I can almost rationalize it as selling the skills I have to people who need them, ignore that I’m taking advantage of terrified families who have no other choice, profiting off sorrow. I’m—

Not doing this, I tell myself. None of it matters.

“Next job’s mine, then,” I declare.

“Is that wise?” From the note of satisfaction in her voice, it’s obvious she saved whatever’s coming to lord over me. “You said you were having nightmares. Ploy said you weren’t sleeping. But the panic attacks?”

Last night was bad. Still, I carried through and the job got done. “Under control.”

She takes me in for a long moment, dubious. “You’ve fought me every step of the way on this and now you want to jump in, both feet?”

“Yup.” I pop the p.

“Why?”

“I’m ready. I’ll run this cluster. I’ll annihilate every hunter. I’ll guarantee no one has a reason to dig into what happened with Jamison,” I say, the argument draining my remaining energy. “If keeping Christopher off everyone’s radar means resurrecting, that’s what I’ll do. Whatever it takes to keep him alive, I’ll do it.”

Hurt crashes across her face. “You’ll do it for him,” she says in a sharp whisper.

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