Page 52 of Uncontrolled

Her fingers flutter across a threadbare patch on the couch cushion as I struggle with the sharp left this conversation has taken.

She grinds her palms against her thighs. “Okay, so,” she starts. “At the farmhouse, we needed to cover our tracks and be sure the situation with Jamison remained contained. We had to go on record with what happened. I got Talia to leave you out of the paperwork. You’re not mentioned.”

I know this already. The three of us agreed. “Is she backing out or something?” I ask. Talia’s been hostile toward me since day one, and I can take it, but she’s not using me to force Allie into anything. “Is she blackmailing you into resurrecting because of me?”

She moves to drag a hand through her hair, but it catches in the crusted blood and she gives up, instead picking at the ends of the clump. “We’re a paranoid bunch,” she says with a sad laugh. “The more things here stray from the norm, the closer the other clusters will watch us. They’ll dig into Jamison, the hunters, me.” She pauses and glances up meaningfully. “You.”

“Let them,” I insist, and the scoff that escapes her is so scathing I give her hand a sharp jerk. “Allie. What’ll they find? That I was friends with him?” I lean over and kiss her once, a hard peck on her mouth. “It’s obvious I switched sides.”

Her voice falls quiet. “I wish that counted for something.”

“I am not a hunter,” I say, and then my neck blazes with the utter hypocrisy in it. I was with them this morning. If I am under scrutiny, I made everything worse. Allie doesn’t even know yet.

“They’ll take your heart.” Her certainty ripples goosebumps over my skin. “If they find out Talia and I lied about your involvement, that we covered for you in any way, they’ll deal with us as well.” She stands, frustrated, and starts to pace the space between the couch and the television. “I explained it to you, how much it matters to protect the blood at any cost.”

“Yeah, but…” I trail off, dumbfounded. We had to keep my past secret on paperwork. It made sense. I didn’t understand what Allie and Talia were risking, what they’re still risking. “If I’m gone, none of this is a problem.”

“Me resurrecting, leading? It’s a Band-Aid as long as we’re together. Talia knows it. I know it. Now you know it, too.”

I want to fight for her, but not if it gets her killed. Does she expect me to walk away to save us both? Could I give her up if it keeps her alive? I should know the answer, the decision should be easy. “What do you need me to do?”

“Tell me you’re staying anyway?” she says before she draws away from me. “But that’s all wrong. You didn’t sign up for this.”

“I’m with you.” Hope and promise war in the three words. They’re the wrong three. Still, I can’t tell her I love her now, when it would sound like manipulation. “Can you hold them off to buy us time?”

She makes a nervous noise. “If you’re staying in the picture, even if we say we’re roommates, friends, they’ll tear your life apart the second they know you’re in mine and they will find everything.”

The last word is heavy with implication.

“Who does the background check?” I ask. “If we could get Talia, then—”

Allie shakes her head. “She made it more than clear she’s not willing, and anyway, it’s done independently. I should have told Sarah about you weeks ago, but I pretended I was doing great on my own. You were only staying here sporadically. The night I did that weird resurrection at the pool, when you found out Brandon died, I was on the phone with her. I found you asleep outside my door.” Allie swallows hard. “She knew you were here. She was distracted. She’d caught on that things were going bad here in Fissure’s Whipp. I said you were a friend, but Jesus, if she’d followed the rules, you’d be dead.”

Every moment I’ve been with this girl has had me a hairsbreadth from extermination. I don’t care. “I could…we could come clean? Tell them everything?”

Allie’s shaking her head long before I finish. “Talia said it first. On paper, you look like a straight-up hunter. If I admit knowing the danger you posed to the blood and not speaking up immediately…”

We’re both silent, deep in thought.

“Are we doomed?” she asks suddenly.

I fake a smile. “If I were a normal guy, most likely. But it takes a lot to get rid of a scrappy weed like me.”

Relief taunts me as she throws her arms around my neck.

I can fix this. There’s got to be a way. The information I gained on the hunters being dangerous, that’s small, obvious, now that I’m thinking about it. I need something to convince any other resurrectionist I’m loyal, once and for all. I need bigger.

“Your turn,” Allie says, and I hum in confusion, distracted. “You wanted to tell me something?” Her forehead wrinkles as her arms move to balance on my shoulders. She traces the fine hairs at the nape of my neck. “Did I steal your thunder?”

“With your whole ‘they’re going to kill us’ intro? Yeah, a bit.” It takes work to be sure my laugh is light and believable. Nerves rattle through me. This is where I come clean. This is where I tell her everything. Except my brain’s stuck on the idea of bigger. If I can prove myself beyond a reasonable doubt, it’ll clear all three of us. Talia will back off. Allie won’t have to lead Fissure’s Whipp if she doesn’t want. I’ll get to live. “You called me your boyfriend in the garage,” I say.

The most adorable blush rises to her cheeks and I know the topic change worked. “Noticed that, huh?”

“I get that you were like, under duress, and if you didn’t mean it, that’s okay, too.”

Her tongue darts to wet her lips. “I meant it,” she says. I can’t stop myself from leaning forward to kiss the trepidation from her. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted—”

“I wanted,” I whisper. “I wanted very much.” Under my mouth, tiny goosebumps flare across her skin. I smooth the place with a thumb. “If I’m going to be your boyfriend though, I need you to do one thing for me, okay?”

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