Page 47 of Control

His footsteps sounded behind me. “Claire. Wait.”

I turned on my heels and stared at him. All malice had been replaced with something more solemn. Whatever torment that had been churning inside was on full display.

“Please don’t go, baby girl. I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet and desperate to stop me.

“What the fuck was that, Jai? Who was that person?”

He bowed his head and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I…I don’t know. You didn’t deserve that.”

I stalked forward until we were nearly toe to toe. “Don’t you ever treat me like that again. Do you hear me? I’m not a dog for you to command,” I shouted, pointing a finger in his face.

He wrapped his hand around my finger and pulled it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on the tip of it. “I hear you. I just had a bad day at work, and I couldn’t deal with how badly I fucked it up.” The sincerity in his eyes showing me a glimpse of the old Jai—the one I had known before tonight.

He truly was sorry, but right now I needed space. His behavior was too reminiscent of what I had grown up with and for my own sanity, I needed to distance myself from it.

Removing my finger from his grasp, I cupped his cheek with my palm, feeling his whiskers tickle my skin. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, finding the comfort he greatly needed.

“Will you stay tonight? I want to make this right.” Dark brown eyes looked at me full of remorse and guilt.

I shook my head. “This reminded me too much of life with my father.”

His jaw clenched. “He forced himself on you?” The shame he bore coated his voice.

“No. Nothing like that. His tone was always abusive and forceful with my mother.” I hated how he would embarrass her in public…talk to her like she was his servant.

“I’m sorry, Claire.” He dropped his head in disgrace. “I’m not that man. I lost control back there.”

“I believe you. But I need space right now…for me.” I couldn’t think with him so close to me.

He nodded slowly. All I saw was a broken man before me.

I turned around to let myself out the door, but his voice stopped me one last time as my hand closed around the handle.

“Claire, I love you.”

This time, I bowed my head in guilt. “I know.” Guilt because I couldn’t say it back. Not after this.

I pulled the door open and left without looking back.

Chapter XIX

Jai

Ifucked everything up. I fucked up my chance at taking down Leonid. And more importantly, I fucked up my relationship with Claire. When my attack on Leonid failed and I realized I had, in fact, fallen into his trap and ordered the shot that killed his decoy instead of him, I lost my shit. I no longer controlled the narrative between myself and Leonid. All the balls were in his court—my fucking balls, to be exact.

The rage at being duped by a piece of scum like him had gotten the best of me and I took it out on Claire. My need for control had seeped into my relationship with her. I needed to feel like I was commanding something or someone who would listen. Instead, I treated her like shit, reminding her of her abusive father.

I fucking loved that woman, and I had crushed any trust that she had in me as a stable force in her life. I’d deserved her slap. I would let her get in a few punches and kicks too if she wanted—whatever it would take to get her to trust me again.

She had put a desert of distance between us. I was dehydrated for her and saw the mirage of her at every turn in my penthouse.

My fingers typed out numerous apologetic texts to her, but they all went unanswered. I even sent her a long text hoping to convince her to have dinner with me so I could just talk to her in person, but again, no answer.

She had finally admitted that she was falling for me, and I’d probably pushed her away for good. I fucking hated myself.

Desperate to get Claire back, I found myself visiting the other woman I had wronged to help me make it all right again.

Shockingly, my keycard still worked at Sethi Tech, granting me entrance all the way up to Amelia’s office. I thought for sure my brother would have had it deactivated by now, since he didn’t want me anywhere near his wife. Though, if my card were deactivated, I’d certainly have been able to hack the system I had originally created for our company to reactivate it, but I was pretty certain that hacking and entering would secure me another four years on my brother’s shit list.

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