Page 42 of Control

Music. The sound of a piano played. I knew the song from the first few notes. “Down”by Marian Hill. The sound of a woman singing along to the same piano notes over and over, until the simplistic melody was broken by a modern synthesized beat.

I quietly stepped into the studio and froze at what I saw transfixed by the figure moving before me. A blur of black leotard and tights whirled across the floor, spinning non-stop. I wondered how she even knew where to land with her eyes closed, following only the music and her own heartbeat for guidance. Her reflection in the mirrors surrounding her only added to the dizzying electricity she generated.

Her arms extended to her sides and her back leg slid slowly backward until her knee was nearly touching the ground in a deep lunge. The muscles in her biceps flexed as she arched her back and her chest shone to the ceiling. Gliding back up to stand, she rose on her toes in pink pointe shoes and kicked the same leg in front of her, holding it in the air with powerful control that emanated nothing but soft grace.

Sweat made her fair skin glisten under the lights, some of it flying off with her momentum as she moved. Her bun was mostly intact, held tightly just below the crown of her head, but the loose strands of damp hair stuck to her forehead showed the evidence of her hard work.

Long fingers extended overhead, touching to form an oval in the negative space encased by her arms. Her height was average, but in this pose, on pointed toes, she looked nearly six feet tall.

Swinging her arms to the side, she braced herself for her final move. The weight of her arms propelled her to spin on pointe. Raising one leg and pointing her foot to the leg that was supporting her, she twirled on the bottom foot with speed that was almost superhuman.

I watched—hypnotized by her countless revolutions. My heart raced, beating in synch with each rapid turn, the adrenaline raising the hairs on my arms. Ballet was known to be beautiful, but this…this was magnificent. Whatever her body was doing was fucking magic. And I was the lucky bastard getting to experience this moment of pure excellence.

The last few notes played as she struck her final pose. With her chin held high, she opened her eyes, and her relaxed expression disappeared as she saw my reflection in the mirror. She broke her pose and walked to grab the towel hanging on one of the practice bars close to her.

“What are you doing here?” She dabbed the towel to her forehead and neck as she approached me. Her clear blue eyes radiated tension, and all the calm that had flowed through her body moments before in her final pose was gone.

“I came to give you these.” I held out the bouquet of lilies for her. Her expression softened as she took them from me and realized they were her mother’s favorite flowers, but then she quickly drew her guard back up, catching her error. “And I was wondering if I could take you out tonight…on a date?”

“Um…thanks. But I have an early class to teach tomorrow,” she said dismissively.

Her earliest class wasn’t scheduled until one o’clock from what her boss had told me. For a studio that catered to wealthy clients, the owner was easily swayed by some sweet words and a few dollars. “Did I do something wrong?”

She turned away from me and set the flowers on the floor next to her bag. “It’s not you…”

“It’s me,”I mocked. “Baby girl, Iownthat line.” I had used it so many times to keep the randoms from getting clingy. I had perfected the right tone while delivering that line because of the frequency with which I had used it. She wasn’t getting off the hook so easily. “Talk to me, Claire. Tell me what you need.”

Still facing away from me, tipping her head low so I couldn’t see her face in the reflection, she whispered, “I don’t know what I need.”

“Do you want me?” I asked outright.

After a beat of consideration, she nodded subtly.

“Say it.”

Raising her head to look at my eyes in the mirror, she spoke to my reflection. “I want you.”

“Then be with me,” I said, locking eyes with her through the mirror.

She sighed. “It’s not that easy.”

“Then explain it to me. I’m here practically begging you to let me in.” This was so frustrating. I wasn’t understanding why she was being so secretive about her desires.

“I can’t,” she whispered, her voice shaky.

“Why not?”

“It’s not safe.”

My brows furrowed in confusion. I took a step closer to her. “What’s not safe? I don’t understand.”

She spun around, eyes flashing to mine with fear. “Because I think I’m falling for you.” Tears fell upon her confession. She wasn’t a crier from what I knew of her, and the number of tears that dripped from her eyes now showed me how tortured this woman really was.

I approached her, holding her arms in my hands. “Why is that a bad thing?” I whispered.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she breathed out.

“Baby girl, you could never hurt me. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be.” She was all I ever thought about and being with her made my heart relax in a way it never had before, even as my pulse raced from attraction.

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