Page 22 of Control

I followed her lead past the chic living room. It still amazed me that they had two small children yet kept all their furniture and rugs so clean.

The kitchen was just as modern as the rest of the house. The cabinets and counters were all European style and white with natural wood stools in front of the massive island.

Amelia occupied herself with the tea, pulling out a pair of mugs from one of the cabinets. “Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable.”

Easing myself onto the seat, I couldn’t help but remember the past. Sitting in a kitchen just like this one with my mother busying herself at the stove. The constant ache I carried in my chest twinged stronger. Though Amelia was younger than what my mother would have been if she were alive, there was something about her that reminded me of Maman. Amelia was nurturing and caring just like she had been, and so wise. Amelia didn’t seem old at all, maybe in her late twenties or early thirties, but she boasted a sensibility that was deep for her age.

Moving to the stove, she stirred a pot that had been warming before we entered the kitchen. After dividing the liquid into the mugs that she had collected, she passed a steaming one over to me. Notes of cinnamon and cloves wafted out of the vessel, soothing me instantaneously. “Chai?”

Amelia nodded, inhaling the contents of her own mug. “Ever since I learned how to make it myself, I drink it more than coffee.”

Taking a small sip so as not to burn my lips, I savored the spicy warmth on my tongue. “It’s delicious. Thank you.”

“Anytime.” She set her mug down, her expression turning serious. “I know it’s not my business to pry, but I think it’s safe to say that Jai really likes you.”

My cheeks flushed with warmth. “He does?”

She nodded as she swallowed another sip of her chai. “He can’t seem to take his eyes off you when you’re around. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

As much as I was flattered, I just couldn’t let this go further than it already had. “I’m not trying to lead him on or anything, but I just can’t.”

“Why?” she asked.

I shrugged casually, hoping she wouldn’t ask any more questions. “I’m just a loner.” If I put this all on myself, maybe she’d drop it.

I should have known better because she persisted. “Do you have any family still alive?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but they’re not in the city.”

She leaned over the island, so that we were eye to eye. “Were you close to your parents?”

Honesty came pouring out of me. “Not so much with my father. But my mother was my best friend.”

Her forehead creased with concern. “That must have been hard to lose her.”

I felt my eyes well with tears, as they always did when I thought of Maman. “It still is.” My voice came out shaky, giving away the heartache that I carried with me every moment of every day.

She nodded with understanding. “The pain never really goes away, does it? It just changes from a piercing feeling into a chronic ache.” The emotions in her eyes matched mine. That bit of despair that wedged its way into the skin around your eyes, leaving permanent scars of loss masquerading as wrinkles.

“Did you lose someone?”

A tear escaped the corner of her eye as she pressed her lips together. “My father. To cancer.”

I gasped softly. “I’m so sorry.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m lucky. My mother is still alive, and I’m really close to her.”

“You’re both lucky to have each other.” What I wouldn’t give to see Maman again. Just one more hug. To smell her gentle fragrance of lilies and vanilla. The tears came rushing out after holding them in for so long. I wasn’t a crier, so these tears were long overdue to be shed.

Amelia grabbed some napkins from the counter and offered me one while using another to dab at her own eyes. “Look at us. A perfectly good Sunday and we’re sobbing over tea like lunatics.”

I chuckled. “Thank you for the tea and the talk. I think I needed to let some of this stuff out.”

She reached over, taking hold of my hand. “Same here.”

I took another sip of tea, feeling one of the many holes in my soul grow smaller.

“Don’t close yourself off, Claire. I’m not just talking about Jai. You have such a free spirit, and you shouldn’t keep it locked away out of fear.” She held my gaze, keeping me from running away again.

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