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“Are you prepared to help me?” His eyes were dark and intense.

I still had so many questions. My mind was racing, and I was no longer capable of putting together coherent streams of thought. I couldn’t decide right now. Logically, I should leave this company and run far from this man. But a pit formed in my stomach at the thought of never seeing him again.

I exhaled before responding. “I need time.”

Chapter XIII

Amelia

After Shyam’s revelation in the lab, I desired space to think. Shyam didn’t say much after I told him I couldn’t decide immediately, though he seemed withdrawn. The wall that had slowly been crumbling, brick by brick every time we were together, was fully erected again. He said I could take the rest of the week off and give him my answer by the weekend—spoken like a true boss and not someone who was attracted to me.

I spent my time off mindlessly coding for random projects that I had started in the past but never had a chance to finish because I was always busy with work. Every so often, Shyam’s face would burn my mind as I coded. I could feel his commanding touch on my skin. I could taste his lips on mine. In the short time that I had known him, he had gained total control of my body in a way I hadn’t known a man could. We hadn’t even had sex yet, but I felt like he knew me so intimately. My heart felt heavy every time I thought about walking away from this beautifully intense man.

I should quit. I knew it was the right decision. But it felt wrong to consider it. I was green in my career, but I knew I could pave my way in this world of men if given the chance. I just needed to play my cards right.

I thought working for Sethi Tech would fast-track my path to becoming a Senior Developer. But how could I be an honest programmer while working for a company that ultimately made dirty money? What if I got caught by authorities for my role at Sethi Tech? I would become a casualty and land myself in federal prison for aiding drug dealers. Plus, the government wasn’t too keen on civilians using facial-recognition software for tracking people down. I knew Shyam had said he controlled the police, but little people like me were usually thrown to the wolves to protect the guys running the operation. I really didn’t know him that well. How could I trust that he wouldn’t turn me in to save his skin if he ever needed to? A part of me knew that I could trust him, but how could I be completely certain?

I was a logical person by nature. It was how a developer’s brain worked. My thoughts were usually based in “cause and effect”—if I participated in illegal acts, then I would probably get arrested. If I stayed at Sethi Tech, and didn’t get caught by the police, I could move up in the tech world.

This was the first time my emotions had gotten in the way of making a decision. I wasn’t used to this feeling, having my heart rule my head. It was stupid. We weren’t even in a relationship. I shouldn’t base my decision on something uncertain.

All these thoughts did nothing to alleviate the ache I felt when I thought about handing in my resignation and leaving Shyam for good. I wanted to see more of him. I wanted to feel him. He was the only man who could turn me on just by being in the same room. I had never felt this attraction with another man before Shyam.

My phone buzzed, pulling me out of the dizzying spiral of thoughts that had sucked me under.

Hey, hotshot! Remember me?! Come out with me tonight! Unless you’re too busy with your fancy new job!

Natalie. I had forgotten that we had talked about meeting up.I had never gotten back to her to set a date, but I didn’t feel like going out tonight.

I’m so sorry! I completely forgot to text back. Actually, I’m not feeling up to going out. Probably just going to call it an early night.

My phone lit up with a call.Shit. She was persistent.

I answered, knowing she was calling to harass me. “Hey.”

“Don’t ‘hey’ me, you bore. First, you don’t text me back, and then you try to weasel out of going out with me?” she demanded in her larger-than-life voice. I missed her personality in my life.

“I just feel like staying in tonight. It’s been a long week.”Too long.

“Mel, what’s wrong?” she asked. “You sound depressed.”

“Just stuff with the new job.” I didn’t want to get into details over the phone.

“Uh-oh. Those Sethi brothers treating you like shit? Do I need to show up at that office and straighten them out?” Natalie and I weren’t related, but she always treated me like her little sister. It was a nice feeling, since I didn’t have any siblings of my own.

I debated how much I should share with her. I definitely wouldn’t tell her about the drug-dealing stuff, but I could share the hooking-up part. Shyam wasn’t her boss, so it was okay to confide in her, right? Plus, this stuff was just festering inside me. It would be helpful to vent. “Um, not really. Well, just one brother, I suppose.”

“Let me guess. The one who had eyes for you at Nirvana?”

She had noticed and never even harassed me about it? “Maybe. How did you know?”

“Are you serious? That man looked like he was ready to throw you down on a table and fuck you in front of the entire club.” The image made me squeeze my thighs together to alleviate the ache.

“Hello? Earth to Mel?”Oops.I must have taken too long to respond while envisioning Shyam on top of me.

“Hmmm, yeah, I’m here.” It was clear through my voice that I was distracted.

“OMG, you fucked him already?! And you didn’t tell me?” She was practically yelling at me over the phone.

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