Page 146 of Prey for You

A few seconds later the phone rang and I almost wept with relief.

“Sorry, brother. I wasn’t alone and I needed to get out so I could talk privately. It’s bad, huh?”

So I told him everything. Every. Fucking. Thing.

How it started—though he knew that story. Where we went. Every detail of the times I spent with her and away from her, including meeting her dad, and strangling Jeremy. I laid out every fucking detail then I sat down on the couch and dropped my head into my hand.

“Monk… I think… I don’t think God’s going to fix this. I don’t know why. I don’t know what it’s going to prove. Buteverythingis going wrong.”

My brother sighed and I heard him breathe a prayer. Then he swallowed.

“Sam, if I could do anything to take this away, I would. But you’re right. Details… they don’t look good. All I know is, God’s way more powerful than those fucking lawyers, so the question isn’t that.”

“Then what is it? I’m losing my shit here, Monk.”

“You tell me what you’d say.”

I blinked. “What?”

“C’mon, Sam. You’ve been counselling guys going through this shit for years now. What would you say if you sat across the table from a guy who was about to lose his family and his house and his life?”

I stared at the carpet and swallowed hard. “I’d say, either God’s got you in that place for a good reason that you’ll figure out later… or He’ll take you out of it when the time is right. You can trust that.”

“That’s right, brother. See, you didn’t need me. You already know. You aren’t confused. You’re scared. Takethatto God.”

“But—”

“Sam… I’m praying. We all are. We’re praying you get free. But sometimes God decides to protect us when we’re walking through the dark, instead of taking the dark away. You know that.”

I almost laughed. Theirony.“Yeah, I know that,” I said, uncertain if my voice was hoarse from laughter or tears.

Then I sat there on my couch, tears running down my face while the man who was more father to me than my own father had ever been prayed for my life. And my safety. And my clarity. And my fear.

And the longer I sat there, the more I realized… These circumstances weren’t changing. I could either panic and do something stupid out of fear… or I could take God at His word and walk into whatever was coming with my head high becauseI wasn’t the fucking monster they were all trying to make me out to be.

“I love her, Monk,” I breathed when he was done. “I really love her.”

“I know. But a husband… and husband’s supposed to love like Christ loved the church. You remember that, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And what does it say?”

I blew out a breath, then swallowed hard. “Love her as Christ loved the church… and gave Himself up for her.”

“That’s right. And it’s a huge fucking responsibility. Why do you think I never remarried?”

“Because you’re a Monk?” I jibed, wiping my eyes.

“No! Because I don’t think I’m capable of that. So the question is, Sam, are you?”

Wow. Okay. “Well, I guess we’re going to find out.”

“Yes, we are, Son. Yes, we are.”

“Thank you, man.”

“Thanks for trusting me. I’m praying.”

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