Page 108 of Prey for You

“I do.” I pushed a strand of hair back from her face. “Forgiveness isn’t saying it was okay to do. It’s not pretending it never happened. It’s… giving up the bad feelings to let myself feel love again. It’s saying… I can see you and care for you despite what you did. So I’m not driven by that anger. When I see you, the first thought I haven’t isn’t that you betrayed me. It’s that you’re here, andthank God.The anger still comes sometimes. But that’s mine to wrestle with. I can walk through my day without carrying the wound of what you did. And I’d dothat even if you left me. Even if you broke me. I’d forgive you—because if I didn’t,I’dbe a mess.”

She bit her lip, her brow furrowing. I plowed on.

“People like your dad… he’s not healthy to have in your head. But that doesn’t mean you can’t forgive him. Forgiveness is foryoursake. Anger, resentment,hate… it festers. Hell, he might not even know you forgave him. You do it to free yourself, not him. But Bridge… if you don’t… you’re the one who’s in bondage.”

I saw her recoil a hair, saw her grab herself and stop herself pulling away—and saw her turn the uncomfortable feeling into a wicked joke.

“I mean, I can get on board with a little bondage.”

I stared at her until she stopped grinning and sighed. Then I took her hand and put it back on my chest, flattening mine over hers. “When the time is right—and that’snotnow, I think—let’s talk about him and what he did. And how you can get free of it so you’re not living in this fear anymore, okay?”

She took a deep breath and I saw the flicker of cynicism in her eyes. But she nodded. “I’ll try,” she said. “I really hope you’re right, Sam. I’ll try.”

I pulled her into a tight hug and we didn’t talk again for a while.

January

(One month before the trial)

35. Always Stretch

SOUNDTRACK:New Bad Habitby Adam Jensen

~ BRIDGET ~

As the court case drew closer we both knew we’d be under a lot more scrutiny. Which meant not takinganyrisks. Even the few we’d been taking.

It made Sam sad. It made me feel like my skin was too tight.

In the second week of January, less than a month from the first trial date, I knew the time that we could risk seeing each other was drawing short, so one night while we were on the phone when it sounded like he was building up to saying we needed to commit to staying apart until it was done, I panicked.

“I have a proposal for you,” I said quickly, my heel bouncing on the ground as I bit a fingernail on the hand that wasn’t holding the phone.

Sam’s brows rose. “Oh?”

I nodded. “I know we have to be careful. And… and I’m committed.” God, I felt sick thinking about it though. “But I’m thinking there’s one way we haven’t talked about and… maybe we should get together soon. And maybe… maybe we can do it once closer to the trial. Something to look forward to.”

His lips pressed thin. He hated being apart as much as I did. But after having whole weekends and more-than-overnights at that cabin over Christmas and New Years, I was having withdrawals.Sam was coping with the separation better than me.

“Okaaaaay,” he said cautiously. “What are you thinking?”

I swallowed. “I’m thinking, the State Park is huge. And it has entrances that are in different counties. I’m not saying there’snorisk. But… but I mean, you’re always saying I need more sun.”

“In January?”

“Hush. If I happened to decide to have a picnic on one side of the park on the same day you decided to hike… I mean… our individual trails don’t look so suspicious if anyone’s not watching closely. We can both leave our phones at home so it’s even less likely they’ll pick it up. And… well… I mean, you’d have tofindme.”

I waited, nervous, while he stared without reacting.

When he didn’t speak after a second, I huffed. “Come on, Sam! There must be a way we can do this that’s low risk. We’d take different highways. We wouldn’t bring our phones. We’ll have a… a sign in case one of us is followed we can warn the other. And—”

“Bridget—”

“Please don’t say no—just think about it! I’ll let you pick the day—”

“I’m not saying no.”

“—I want… wait. What?”

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